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I did discovered my husband was unfaithful after he died


Lynette Van Zyl

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Lynette Van Zyl

My husband passed away 4 months ago. Since his passing I have discovered multiple affairs, to date I have found 18 woman. Most of them at the same time or overlapping. 

Im not sure how many were actually intimate partners, but suspect around 6 the rest seem to be text relationship, which I still consider to be affairs as they were secret and the content of the messages was intimate and explicit and most of these woman thought they were exclusive. 

Some of these woman knew about me and were “house friends”

some were his work colleagues and some old school friends.

He told most he was never married, many that I had multiple affairs and he was the victim and some that I was an alcoholic and he needed to stay with me to protect our daughter.....

none of these things are true.

The thing is, we never fought, he was home every night and weekend and the number of trips he took in our 22 years I could count on one hand.  

I have confronted every woman and they all now know about me and about each other.

But the lies told to them and friends and family making me the perpetrator and him the victim are shocking and hurtful and are causing me to be more angry and resentful than sad that he has died.

there is so much more to this story but that’s the gist of it. 

Im just in such a dark place. So angry at everything and everyone it’s really hard to see any light and happiness moving forward

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Dear Lynette,

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this terrible shock. It's a huge betrayal and deeply painful. I hope these links will provide some help and comfort. My thoughts are with you.

https://howloveblossoms.com/how-to-forgive-your-husband-for-cheating-while-he-was-alive/

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/aug/19/i-found-out-after-my-husband-died-that-he-had-an-affair-what-can-i-do-to-survive

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