Listening to Sports to hear conversation in home.

[Robert D.]

I have been listening to different sport shows...along with a Bob Ross or Jery Yarnell to hear conversation in my home. Since my beloved JoAnn left there is no conversation....so unbearably lonely....When a commercial comes on I switch back to another sport that is playing at the same time....it's been helping some.

[Laura C.]

My John used to watch soccer or tennis all the time.  I deleted his DAN app, but now I wish I hadn't.  I really miss the faint background noise - he never had the sound very loud.  I might have to reinstate the app and play it. 

[Sparky1]

I keep the tv on most of the day just for background noise so at least the house is not quiet. I only really watch it a few hours in the evening and even then there's nothing on.

[Robert D.]

It is so lonely without my beloved JoAnn.....I started doing this recently...as she passed recently....just horrible being home and not hearing her voice......I alernate between golf, tennis and baseball....if one of those isn't on I put on a painting show....I don't watch much TV either....but I have to have some kind of human contact...speech going on.....It helps to divert the immense sorrow a little.... very little....but it is people talking...When a commercial comes on I touch 'last' on the remote...puts it right away on more talking between people....

[widower2]

First thing I do in the morning is snap on the TV and the last thing I do before going to bed is turn it off. Sometimes I don't even turn it off. I don't actually watch much TV, but as others have said and learned, it helps some just to have some noise and human conversation in the house. I used to leave it on for my dog when I was at work too; I think it helped him for similar reasons.

[Jemiga70]

@Robert D.  I totally understand this. I do it too.  I listen to radio shows that deal with afterlife research.  Helps hearing other voices and also the subject matter helps me too.  I used to live in a megacity in Asia and just having millions of people around -- even though I didnt know them -- helped.  I'd go walking every day just to be among other people.  Didnt matter they were strangers. Loneliness and silence is the killer for me, though of course when I meditate (struggling to) I cherish the silence.

[Brazil Man]

17 hours ago, Laura C. said:

I deleted his DAN app, but now I wish I hadn't

I am sorry. I considered to delete the accounts of my wife (online shoppings where she used to buy) but I had no courage. Those are the last reminders I have of hers.

[Brazil Man]

17 hours ago, Laura C. said:

I might have to reinstate the app and play it. 

But it's good that you can reinstate it.

[KayC]

18 hours ago, Laura C. said:

My John used to watch soccer or tennis all the time.  I deleted his DAN app, but now I wish I hadn't.  I really miss the faint background noise - he never had the sound very loud.  I might have to reinstate the app and play it. 

If it brings you comfort, why not!

[KayC]

16 hours ago, Robert D. said:

I don't watch much TV either....but I have to have some kind of human contact...speech going on.....It helps to divert the immense sorrow a little.... very little....but it is people talking...

I've found this since Covid and esp. now during the fire...I can't really leave as I'd have to pack up my car and take my puppy with me, so I find that other than our walks, I'm alone, and usually I am on those too.  It's getting old. Pastor's wife invited me to prayer meeting last night but I texted back that I can't really leave with the fire 2 miles away from here and only one way out...towards it.  I'm feeling "shut in."  No one ever calls..  Kodie's playdates are on hold another week at least until they're back from the coast.  So not even that diversion.  I find I'm alone wiith my thoughtts way too much!  It helps to stay busy.

9 hours ago, widower2 said:

First thing I do in the morning is snap on the TV and the last thing I do before going to bed is turn it off. Sometimes I don't even turn it off. I don't actually watch much TV, but as others have said and learned, it helps some just to have some noise and human conversation in the house. I used to leave it on for my dog when I was at work too; I think it helped him for similar reasons.

I totally get that!  

[KayC]

5 hours ago, Jemiga70 said:

I'd go walking every day just to be among other people.

I'm on a country road, dead end, no one else is walking.  I used to walk sometimes with an autistic young man but his caregiver said he can't walk this direction anymore because someone complained about his clothes (he identifies as a dog so has a tail sewn on his clothes).  I don't care, I don't understand why people can't have compassion on a young guy with problems and be a little tolerant.  He was someone to walk with and talk with and he was nice.

[foreverhis]

On 9/14/2022 at 7:27 AM, Robert D. said:

I have been listening to different sport shows...along with a Bob Ross or Jery Yarnell to hear conversation in my home. Since my beloved JoAnn left there is no conversation....so unbearably lonely....When a commercial comes on I switch back to another sport that is playing at the same time....it's been helping some.

If Vin Scully had still been the Dodgers announcer, I would have done that during baseball season.  We loved Vin.

Instead, I stream music or turn on something "gentle" on TV.  I don't care for soaps or reality TV, but I will stream shows I like that don't require much thought and watch new episodes while I do my physical therapy and things like that.

I was talking to a friend last night.  She lost her husband about 2-1/2 years before I lost John.  To this day (that is night), she still puts on TV (lots of sports because she and her husband were big into various sports) both for the distraction and to soothe her mind.  She admitted that she's given up caring if she falls asleep on the sofa because it's how she is able to cope and sleep.  I'm the same way.

Whatevever helps us through for however long it helps is the the only thing matters, IMO.  What "experts" think doesn't matter to me at all anymore.

[widower2]

10 hours ago, KayC said:

I'm on a country road, dead end, no one else is walking.  I used to walk sometimes with an autistic young man but his caregiver said he can't walk this direction anymore because someone complained about his clothes (he identifies as a dog so has a tail sewn on his clothes).  I don't care, I don't understand why people can't have compassion on a young guy with problems and be a little tolerant.  He was someone to walk with and talk with and he was nice.

How grossly insensitive and just plain ridiculous of the whiny complainer. Why does the caregiver even care if someone complained? If I was the caregiver I'd tell them where to get off. I'd be tempted to do something like sew a cat tail on my butt. "See?? Diversity. Now shut up." 

 

3 hours ago, foreverhis said:

I stream music or turn on something "gentle" on TV.  I don't care for soaps or reality TV

Same. I remember our waits in hospitals and Dr offices....seems they ALWAYS had on some loud, obnoxious, trashy talk show nonsense, where the women in the audience would emit that high-pitched squeal like harpies from hell at every little thing, and the only ones that ever were watching watched were the staff. Occasionally it was so unbearable I asked if I could change the channel. What rocket scientist thinks it's a good idea to have those shows on in a waiting room I can't imagine. 

Anyway...agree on the "gentle" TV. There's a channel here which shows old westerns 24/7 and I often have that on, even though I'm not watching it, for just that reason. You might hear the occasional shootout or a saloon fistfight, but even that is IMO tame sound-wise. That and the cooking shows are my go-to's. 

[KayC]

12 hours ago, widower2 said:

Why does the caregiver even care if someone complained? If I was the caregiver I'd tell them where to get off. I'd be tempted to do something like sew a cat tail on my butt. "See?? Diversity. Now shut up."

I guess because the person is "different."  Of course he is, he's autistic!  If they bothered to get to know him, they'd know he's really a sweet kid (29) that never hurt anyone and loves to walk.  I enjoyed our walks together, now it's more rare as he no longer walks between his house and mine.  YOU and ME both!  I'd do the same and wanted so much to call the caregiver and demand to know who the complainer is and give them a piece of my mind...which I probably shouldn't because I don't think I have any to spare!  But I did let this young guy know that I'm supportive of him and gave him a hug.

[widower2]

6 hours ago, KayC said:

I'd do the same and wanted so much to call the caregiver and demand to know who the complainer is and give them a piece of my mind...which I probably shouldn't because I don't think I have any to spare! 

lol......of course you do! But whether to say something or not is easier said than done. I know I would, but I have a big mouth.  And that doesn't mean others should. 

[KayC]

18 hours ago, widower2 said:

I know I would, but I have a big mouth.  

Yep, me too!  Funny, I never had a probably stating my truth, it's how I am, but it intensified greatly when George died and my "advocate/protector" was gone.  I grew some moxie big time!  Standing up to people and not letting them run over me....

[widower2]

That is so good to hear - sometimes when people suffer a big loss they do the opposite. And if there's one thing I love it's obnoxious people being put in their place! Such people should never get a free pass. It's like letting a spoiled brat get away with being a spoiled brat (of course that's all the rage too...).