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I lost both of my parents


Jillian Dwyer

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Jillian Dwyer

I’ve never done this before and I don’t know how this website works but I figured I would give it a try. I lost my dad September 11th 2021, almost a year ago to today when I was 31. I lost my mother June 8 2009 when I was 19. I struggle to stay in therapy after mom and when my dad died, who was my best friend, I haven’t found the strength to go back. It’s also costly and I feel I can’t afford it. Maybe all we need is to talk to eachother. It’s hard I still can’t get the words out of just how hard it is to accept. I still cry on-site on mention of him. Time helped when my mom died but knowing they’re both gone and won’t be there when I get married or have children hurts in a way that is so unexplainable. I work and keep busy to avoid thinking to deep about it all. I’m here if anyone would like to chat and vent. 

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Wandering Soul

Hello, Jillian. 

I'm sorry you're circumstances have brought you here, to join the rest of us who are still navigating the grieving process.  Nonetheless, welcome to the forum, I'm glad that you're giving it a try.  It might help!

Please accept my condolences regarding the passing of your dear mother and father.  I too, lost both of my parents.  I heard someone once say that when you lose your parents, you feel orphaned, no matter your age.  This has certainly been my truth, and perhaps it is now yours as well.  You're not alone, although at times it can feel like it. 

I know that you haven't gone back to therapy and feel that it is costly.  However, if it helped you, it might be worth seriously reconsidering.  I'm taking a guess here, but your Dad was probably rather supportive of your efforts to seek therapy.  Why?  He wanted you happy, healthy and whole!  You're happiness, healing and well-being are worth it.

My dad was my best friend too.  It's hard when you lose your best friend.  For quite a while I had to dodge certain places and turn off certain songs because memories would come flooding back and tears would start rolling down my cheeks.  It's nearly been two years since his passing and I still have moments of sadness that overwhelm me.  This is okay and totally normal.  Let it out!

What a beautiful love you must have had between you and your father!  Reflecting over time after my father's passing, I realized that the love my Dad and I had for one another still existed, it didn't change - it wasn't lost - it wasn't gone - it was still very real and ALIVE!  Death may have taken him physically away from me (and our family), but it couldn't take love we had for one another away!  This recognition brought a tremendous sense of peace to me and still does.  That doesn't mean that there aren't still tears shed.  Tears still flow from time to time, but they are a testament to the love I was so blessed to experience with my Dad! 

Love; what a priceless, wonderful, amazing gift within itself.

Keep going.  I know you can do it.  

Wandering Soul

   

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