Loss of sister tragically

[Jonni]

I am the oldest sibling of 5 girls and the next to the baby girl died tragically in a freak accident in her backyard. It was to say the least unexpected and she was only 52 years old with 3 beautiful grandchildren.  She was my very best friend.  I know that you're not supposed to have favorites in your family, but she was truly it for me.  We spoke often and travelled together on many vacations and weekend trips with our husbands and even just the two of us.  She was a unique personality and could make anyone feel loved, respected, and appreciated exactly the way they were.  She was honest to a fault.  Her sense of humor at herself as well as the world around her was unrivaled.

My biggest problem is that I'm wanting to grieve in a healthy way.  All I know is that I haven't processed...haven't even begun to process this loss.  I don't even know what to do first, second, third, etc.  I'm lost.  Not having her "there" for everything has left a void that just seems to be growing, if anything.  I do have the support of other family members and friends, but I don't even know how to ask for what I need because I have no clue what that need is.

I am functioning as I am able to go about my life at work and other social functions.  I am remembering a lot of the good memories that I had with her and not just dwelling on the horror of the accident, so I feel like that's probably good.

I just thought it might be good for me to try to put into words what I'm feeling today and see what happens.

[reader]

Dear Jonni,

I am very sorry for your loss. How you are feeling is understandable and we all process our grief differently. Please know there is no right way or wrong way. Keep taking it day by day and doing the best you can. It might help to talk to a grief counsellor or joining a grief support group for additional supports.

We are here with you.