Loss of My Parents

[Muhammad Ali]

I dont know what to type here well here it goes I lost my father 11 years back when he was 63 years old, it was unexpected, he wasnt sick at all he just had a heart attack and died within an hour or so in the hospital emergency room. This year 2022 I lost my dearest mom, I dont know how to put it but you know I lost her, well she was sick almost bedridden for a year and all of sudden she stopped breathing in bed. On that day she told she is feeling bored and wanted to watch TV, I helped her sit on sofa and turned on the TV. Later on she became tired and I took her back to bed. After half an hour when I came to check  her she wasnt breathing at that time it was around 8 pm. She was 69. My wife called the ambulance right away, I tried to resuscitate her but it was too late. Its hard for me to breathe every minute I pass. I am broken shattered. My wife thinks I need a professional support since I am experiencing some noises coming from the room, things dropping on the floor and a figure walking around the house when actually there is no one there. I was diagnosed of crisis high blood pressure a week after the loss. I was taken to the emergency they say it is too high 240/130 for a 41 year old. I always ask my wife for the help, I think I am becoming burden for my family.

[reader]

I am so sorry for your loss. My deepest sympathies and condolences. You’ve been through so much with your mom. Losing a parent is extremely stressful and difficult and makes a person raw. Everything you are thinking and feeling is normal and part of your grief and mourning for your beloved mother.

Please know that you are not a burden to anybody and especially to your family. Your deep grief is a reflection of your love for your mother. My counsellor told me that on average it takes a person around 18 months to feel better after losing a loved one. I thought it could be longer or shorter depending on the person. There is no right way or wrong way. We all have to honour our feelings and to try to get through each day the best we can.

It might be helpful to consider grief counselling or joining a grief group in the community or through church. Please know we are also here to listen and offer any support we can. Sending all my thoughts and prayers to you and your family

[Traz]

Dear Muhammad,

Losing your parents has to be one of life's biggest challenges. The death of your precious mom must hurt very deeply, I am so sorry.

  Finding her unresponsive and trying to resuscitate her must have been very traumatic. Things like that tend to play over and over in our minds too.

If the hearing of noises and seeing a figure is frightening to you, then a professional may be able to help. When we are in severe states of distress our minds can get the better of us. Although I believe in the 'unexplained'  and would dearly love to see my mom & dad in spirit. Not everyone feels this way though and that's okay. 

You're not a burden on your family, you have suffered a huge loss. I am nearly 3 years into my grief over my mom and I still have bad days. Like today. Something triggered me and I went downhill pretty quickly. That's why I came to this site tonight. To not feel so alone and I saw your post. It made me want to reach out and let you know the same thing. You're not alone and you can share your feelings freely here.

Hoping for better days ahead Xo