Anyone here under 40 and struggling with the loss of mom or dad?

[JC Jones]

My wife and I have been on a long and painful journey of grieving/healing following the death of her mother.  We would love to connect and support others going through the pain, confusion, heartache that comes with the loss of a parent.

[reader]

Dear JC Jones,

We are sorry for your loss. It is deeply painful to lose a parent. 

This is a safe forum to express our thoughts and feelings. I hope others will come forward.

[EmmaO21]

Lost my dad last year when I was 32 years old... I feel too young to have lost such a great father. I feel your pain.

[TaraB]

I lost my dad at 28, in 2020, amongst others. Confusion and heartache is a good way to put it. It can be so hard to navigate what does life look like now, when the old reality was upended?

[Jon S]

I lost my mom last year when I was 31. She suffered a catastrophic stroke that kept her in the hospital for several months. She showed bouts of progress before the tough decision to move her into hospice after she started to refuse to eat. From there, she slowly faded away. My mom was my everything — we talked on the phone every week, emailed and texted every day. I flew back to TX from CA several time during that time and my greatest regret is not being there more — though I know I did everything I could.

I read a book on embracing grief after she passed that helped tremendously. Our home has mementos of her everywhere — photos, her recipe books, a little altar on my office desk. It gives me peace to see these things and know she’s all around me. But there are many days where all I wish is that I could be with her again and the grief is overwhelming. There is such a massive gap in my life. 
 

My biggest takeaway with this experience is to give yourself space and patience. It won’t ever get easier to reconcile but sorrow will turn to great appreciation for the person you lost and all they gave to you and the world. 

[JC Jones]

Thanks everyone for the encouragement and prayers. It's good to not feel alone. We are considering starting a grief support program for those who have lost parents. If anyone might be interested, just let me know. Blessings.

[Traz]

Dear JC Jones,

I lost my dad when I was 32. We were extremely close - he was my hero and mentor. Grieving was hard, but I still had my mom, siblings and a young family of my own to take care of. Fast forward 21 years and I lose my mom. 

Very different grief experience. More complicated. Things not reconciled... 

I feel for everyone's loss expressed here. Coping tools that work for one person may not be another's cup of tea. I found researching Near Death Experiences to be deeply helpful and comforting. Others may not. They say grieving is a natural process but it feels anything but. It's deeply frightening and isolating at times. I am thankful for a place like this to connect with others. 

Hope you find healing here as well.

Take care.

[QueenB]

I lost my Dad last month. I'm 35 years old. He was only 64. This last month has been the hardest of my life. I fell into a deep depression and with the help of a therapist and medication, I'm slowly getting my life back. I understand the pain you and your wife are going through and all others here who have lost a parent so young. It feels as though I've been robbed of some of the best years of my life with him. 

[Heatherm31]

So sorry for your loss.

 

I lost my mother when I was 14, and I lost my father with I was 29. I am now 31 getting married and have an estranged relationship with my only brother. My fathers birthday is coming up tomorrow I have been having a really rough week. With being engaged and planning a wedding and knowing both of my parents arnt with me to celebrate is also getting to me. But I know they are up looking down on me and that I make them proud everyday! That I know they would love the man I’m marrying.  But some days I just need to walk outside look up and just breath. That helps me sometimes. Maybe it could help her? I’ve also been doing diamond painting to channel my mother creativity gene, and going bowling to channel my father love for it. Also helps me feel close to them when I need them ❤️ the pain will never go away however it will get easier to live with and just remember you have all those memories with her as well 

[nuvar]

honestly i dont know how i can live past 40 feeling like that and no dreams nothing to look forward to

[SilentCries]

I recently lost my dad that I hadn’t talked for a few years due to COVID and I was waiting just to come back and talked to him more. I didn’t had the chance to say goodbye. I’m 26. I still cry everyday for at least half a year now. My condolences. Sorry for your loss. My dad was 63. I only just graduated waiting to take pictures with him and so is my engagement. 

[ahurtingheart]

My heart breaks hearing all of your stories but at the same time it is unexpectedly comforting to know that I are not alone in losing a parent earlier than anticipated.  There is so much emotions in this grief; sadness, fear, anxiety / worry, gratefulness and anger.

This quote really spoke to me "I will cherish the time we had, and not resent the time we lost".

[Weepy willow]

I am 34 and lost my dad 8 weeks ago - I feel completely destroyed and lost - your not alone x

[Eric2005]

I am 36 and just lost my mother. She had stage 4 cancer and was diagnosed October 2021; my mother passed August 2022. She was 68 years old. I am her first child and only son. My mother and I were also very close. We had so much in common. It has been almost 2 months, and it still hurts so bad. The first month was horrible. I leaned on a few vices to get me through it. The hardest part was long drives. The day she passed,I had to drive 40 minutes back to my house. I reached for my phone to call her, that one hurt the most. I feel like as a man, I lost the only person who will ever love me unconditionally. My mom was my best friend.