Lost my dog ten days ago

[Lostsoul22]

Not sure where to start. 15 yes old well, two days short of it. Wasn't given long to live but survived the vets estimates by months. Was still walking, peeing eating and even got up to greet visitors.

 

I knew he would not last many more months and wanted to ensure he was proud. He never quit in his life , ever.

So I put him to sleep and then my life crumbled. I have no reason to live. I have achieved all I ever wanted, and even prior was searching for a goal. Now I see even less reason. 

 

I miss every moment, fake every dinner with friends. Fake work, just glad to be back home where I can be real. No one understands, and I don't want them to see me like this, weak. So everyday I go through the motions, just wanting to come home,sleep and never get up again.

[KayC]

I am so sorry for your loss...15 years is good for a dog, but it sure doesn't make us feel any better when having to go without them.  My Arlie only made it 11 1/2 years.  And it killed me to lose him.  My son brought me Kodie a few months later, and he's been my salvation.  I have no idea what I'd do when he's gone, but not likely get another as I'll be too old then.

My heart goes out to you, the hardest thing in the world.  In my way of looking at it, dogs are the best.  

Comfort for Grieving Animal Lovers

 

 

[Lostsoul22]

Thankyou. Does it get easier, mine is getting worse 

[foreverhis]

1 hour ago, Lostsoul22 said:

Does it get easier, mine is getting worse 

Welcome.  I'm so very sorry you lost your beloved companion.  It does hurt so much.

I can only speak for myself, of course, but yes, it does get easier over time--months at a minimum.  You may start finding it a bit more bearable in several weeks.  This is the hardest time, the beginning, when your grief is fresh, raw, and so deep that it feels like a knife in your heart every minute.  I doubt this will help much, but what you're feeling right now is completely typical, expected even.  The cliche of "one day/one hour at a time" is a cliche because it's true.  The only way to get through the beginning is to focus on right now.

Yes also that it does feel worse for a time.  Once the shock is starting to diminish, the absolute shattering of our lives and hearts becomes stronger.  Yet it doesn't stay that way forever.  Grief evolves, changes into a burden that we can carry forward with us, along with our love and memories.  Instead of the crushing weight it is at first, grief softens as we're able to remember all the good and loving memories.  It's a painful journey, to be sure.  Now that you are here, you will never walk alone.

It's clear that you loved him and gave him a wonderful life.  It's clear that he gave you all that love he had to give.  The greatest gift we can give our beloved pets is the grace of dignity and not suffering, even as we know our hearts will break.  I once read an article by a woman who fosters and rescues animals who are in need of hospice care.  She said that she realized that it's not "putting them down" or "putting to sleep," but rather "lifting them up" and letting them go to the next world, where they will be restored to health and youth.  Where they will wait for us (as we call it, the Rainbow Bridge) in a place of peace and comfort until it is our time and we are reunited.  I have faith in that; I truly do.  I have faith that when my wonderful husband died, our two most precious fur family (his soul cat and my soul dog) were there to greet him in joyous reunion.  It's likely nothing like our human minds envision, but it's there and so are they.

Take comfort, if you can, that you were given the grace of unconditional love.  It may help you through these darkest of days.  And please keep coming here to read, write, and even "scream" if that's what helps.

[KayC]

I'm sorry, it can be worse for a while, it's so hard accepting reality that they're really gone and we can't be with them again until the next life..  I wanted to dig my dog up out of his grave at two weeks out and kiss his sweet face, but I knew what happens under the ground so I didn't, I had my son worried though.  I still have his coat hanging on my chair and it's been three years in four days.

[Benjismommy]

@Lostsoul22

I understand exactly the pain that you describe. I lost my amazing little doggy 17 days ago. Benji, he was 9.5yrs old. He had an accident in the garden which led to him breaking his little neck. We had no other option but to put him to sleep. 
 

The initial couple of days were complete shock, like this could not be real. This is a nightmare that I will wake up from from surely. I went through the motions with the vet, giving the go ahead to put him to sleep (this rips me apart but deep down I know I did the best for Benji to end his pain but it doesn’t make the decision or guilt any easier), bringing him home and arranging his burial. When Benji was buried, it was then it hit me, he was gone and I would never see him, feel him, smell him, play with him or chat with him ever again. 
 

Everyday is absolute torture but as @foreverhis says, I try my best to make it through the next hour or the next day. One day at a time. Some days I want to give up. I have two other dogs who need to be cared for but even those two are a reminder of what I have lost so walkies, dinner time, cuddles on the couch etc hurt so much because Benji is absent. There is a massive hole in my house and heart.