Falling apart this weekend......

[KayC]

It helps to have someone/something alive in our home...someone to interact with, talk to, fish or dog...

[DWS]

Big hugs to all of us here as we enter upon another long weekend. It's our Labor/Labour Day weekend which traditionally marks the end of summer here in Canada although our temperatures in September can still be quite summer-like. This is the first one without my partner Tom. We would spend it at full leisure and usually do a day trip to one of the beach towns on either Lake Huron or Lake Erie. This year, I sadly won't be doing any of that and will be sticking to home. I'll be checking out this site so for all others who don't have plans, please know that you aren't alone. 

[Lost7]

Same we would normally have a cookout and pool party but this will be my first without my husband. September 5 will officially mark 8 months for me. I too will be alone....no one has invited me to celebrate.... I will be thinking of you all.

Hurting lost7

 

[KayC]

I'll be alone Labor Day weekend too, the place I always camped with my family is on fire evacuation. 

 

[April Ballou]

This weekend is nothing but a reminder that he's gone.  He past away labor day.  September 7,2020, Wednesday will be two years.  It's hard to believe I have made it this far.  

[Suea]

It will be just another empty weekend here. No plans. No invites.

[KayC]

Sttill getting smoke from the fire, it's been in the 90s all week.  They're now at level 3 evac, and the smoke is blowing in here rather scary.

[Suea]

Where?

[Don-Tony]

William, It sucks. Every GD minute of it. You got the shoes out to see them, because seeing them brought you a moment that didnt suck as bad as the moment before you didn't see them. Good for you. Do what you need to. If it feels right or just less sucky than not doing it, then do it.

My brother (my lost one) and I used to love this soda and in the last few years its been hard to come by so when I find even a few bottles I bring them all home. They sit in the garage or in the fridge for months. I try not to drink them because they are harder to find and because I'm trying to lay off the sugar for my health and since I got COVID fat. But I'm raising a glass right now.

My point is, nothing is dumb or wrong. Do what you need. 

[Suea]

Got my husbands eagle feather memorial tattoo yesterday. He was native and it was his prized possession. Top is rabbit fur, then eagle feather, then horse hair that embraces  my 30+ year old wedding flower tat. It will lighten up as it heals. It is a tribute to him I can see everyday. We all need to do whatever gives us some comfort no matter what anyone thinks.

[April Ballou]

@Suea that looks nice.  What a wonderful tribute.

[KayC]

21 hours ago, Suea said:

Where?

Cedar Creek Fire, Waldo Lake & Box Canyon (Oregon).

[KayC]

17 hours ago, Suea said:

Got my husbands eagle feather memorial tattoo yesterday.

It's beautiful and a lovely tribute to him!  My husband was Native American too.  I also got a tat in an unmentionable place as it's just between him and me but it's of our symbol.

[Suea]

I salute you! They're kind of painful but a beautiful act of love. 

[Goforth860]

I also want to get a tattoo for John. It's the tree of life. It's on his urn. As you see it here. But instead of his name I want to put his stage/gamer name. Solice. I want it to go up the inside right calve.  I kinda want to put a guitar on it but I really haven't made up my mind. But I know I will at least get this tatatted on me somewhere. I just have to save up the $. Whafdo yall think?

[KayC]

You want a tat of the tree of life and a guitar and his gaming name?  Clarifying...

[Goforth860]

Something to that effect. I got the tree of life urn for him and have his name on the top and everything like his dates and stuff on the bottom.  But I want the tree and his stage name (he played guitar)  and his gaming name (same name) somewhere around it and I was kinda thi ki g about a guitar 🎸 but I'm not totally sure about that. But I kmow the tree and his name 

[Suea]

@Goforth860 I am not an expert but my adult kids are and they know tattoo artists so I will pass this info along to you. Places that really hurt are..Near the shin bone and ankle because there is little padding. The black lines hurt more than the color areas. Mine did hurt some since it is in that area. Got my wedding flower 30 years ago before I knew that.

If you are in the San Francisco area I know someone who is a master artist. Or she might know a good artist in your area. If you want I can ask her. The guy I went to worked with her and I also looked at his work prior to booking with him, interviewed him and talked to some of his clients. Tattoos are forever.

I love the urn you choose and your tattoo idea. I am very happy that I did it. I am going back to add a little color. You can always add but it's hard to remove.

[Goforth860]

I have 7 tats. I have actually fallen asleep getting them. The hum of the gun is so soothing to me. I have a great artist. He did a cover up a girl.did that I didn't know was intoxicated and getting drunker the more she did the tattoo. It took him 6 mths to come up with a beautiful cover up for it and he was very affordable. I walked in his tattoo shop with a very close friend of mine and his to find out so the cover which would've been at least $250 was only $100. He drew up a back tattoo (well an idea of it) And you know if you've ever gotten a tat they're expensive. But like I said I walked in his shop with the right person. He told me the extensive detailed full back tattoo he said he would do for me he would only charge me $500. A full back at the least in NC with only a decent artist would be no less than $1500 and that would be a plain Jane tat. But he's an amazing artist. I'm going to get him to draw something up for me and he will do a few different ideas. So I'll pick the one I like or mix them up. But I know I will be happy with anything he draws up for me and definitely anything he puts on me. While he's at it I'm going to get him to put the death dates of my mom in the scroll and cross I have on my right outside thigh. I just... I have one on memory of already and I just want it to be a tat that I know what it is what it means and how personal it will be.  But ALL of my tats have a significance to me. I will show yall one day when I save the $ up and get it.

[Suea]

I salute you for all your extensive artwork. Sounds like you have a wonderfully talented artist. Please do post your tat when you get it. I would love to see it. I am going back to my guy to add some blue highlights to mine.

[Goforth860]

@William M I know that this thread has kinda gotten off of your topic but that's just the way it happens sometimes. It's like a conversation that evolves from one thing to another.  But I want to get back to your first post on this thread. I have moved into my own apt. We were supposed to move in here in Dec but was jerked around and then John passed Feb 28 and it took me until July 1 to finally sign the lease. I finally got completely moved in a cpl weeks ago. A basketfull at a time by myself. The only help I had was to move the furniture. Which I thank God for that help. I told you that I totally understood your needing to put her shoes next to yours and that I was contemplating buying him a new pair of shoes because I was advised to throw his stuff away because it wasnt healthy to keep his stuff. Well I did. And I did buy him another pair of shoes and sat the next to mine. I kept looking at them and I know he needed a new pair when he died but it seemed like everytime I looked at them I got upset. I wanted his shoes. I wanted the ones I had thrown away. The new ones everytime i looked at them I realized that he wasn't here he'd never worn them and he never would. So I sent them back. I have panicked over things of John's.  I'd think of something out of nowhere and know I packed the stuff. Whatever it has been. I know it was here somewhere but where. Which box.  As I have slowly moved and gotten things over here I've tried to unpack stuff here and there. A box at a time. But when I'm in that frenzy doing my best to locate this thing thats so important like you were talking about there's no comforting subduing or stopping me. I am also somewhat getting into a routine.  I'm not liking it at all. I still wake up and for that milliseconds before my brain has time to function (even being in this new apt) I think of him being in the other room. Then my brain starts to function and it slaps me in the face once again. Its like losing him all over again. So everyday.  Everytime I wake up. Whether it's all night or an hour nap I lose him again and again. I hope that you are doing well and that you have started adjusting a lil better. Please feel free to send me a msg if you wanna just vent and don't know if you want to start a topic. I just wrote a book on a post. All about this and that. Nothing specific and nothing really in an order of any kind. Just the need to vent. Needed someone to talk to and the cpl ppl I know are asleep so I just went with it. I'm up all the hours of day and night I don't really get much sleep and if anyone reading this needs someone to talk with or vent or just sit on the phone in silence or to hear someone just breath on the other end.  I am here.  I could definitely use the same once in a while. 

[KayC]

I was up all night too.