Grieving alone

[Edwin-s]

On 6/29/2022 at 9:21 PM, MP28 said:

I've been doing a lot of things to help me process his death while still keeping him close to me. 

 

The notebook, the pictures, the talking ...
Thank you for saying this out loud. Maybe i'm not going crazy.............

[KayC]

No, definitely not.

[April Ballou]

@Edwin-s your not crazy.  For me it helps me looking at his pictures.   I have 38 years worth of memories.  Our son looks just like my husband,  except he has my eye color and my hair color.  Do what helps you cope with the loss.  We all have to deal with it.  Just don't give up.  We are all going through the same thing.  The loss of a loved one.

[Ronni_W]

On 8/5/2022 at 12:47 PM, Edwin-s said:

[...] I lost the love of my life yesterday
I am talking to her all the time
Since we lived far apart, we chatted throughout the day if we were not together
I find myself chatting to her as If this never happened.... Am i going crazy??????????????

Hi, Edwin-s.

For me in my own experience of it. No, it is not that we are actually going crazy...but it most certainly feels as if we are!

I am so sorry for your loss, and do realize that it is still so raw and 'crazy' and impossible to comprehend on any logical, linear or 'sensible' measure. At this stage, we do not need a 2-page 'Tips to Help You Get Through This Really Tough Ordeal' type of 'wisdom'. Not that it is not full of wisdom, but only that, two (2) days (DAYS!) into it, doing that to us is just insensitive, stupid and thoughtless. At least, in my own experience. (Not saying that it is not *extremely* valuable, helpful, etc., for another person.)     I really don't know how else to say it.    What I then needed, two days later, and what I now need, two years later, is completely, totally, absolutely different.

So. Grief companions/'buddies', as well as so-called grief "experts", need to start to figure out the differences of what their 'buddies' or 'clients' actually will find helpful and comforting (if, and only if, these 'buddies' and 'experts' want to really be of any genuine, useful help and support for those of us who are grieving and in loss.) They need to figure-out the timing of all of their wisdom and insights, and not bombard the newly grieving with it. I really don't know how else to say this.

Lots of love and hugs to you, Edwin-s, and to all.  Ronni

Edited August 16, 2022 by Ronni_W
Edited for emphasis. (I really don't know how else to say it.)