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Had my first breakdown


beth9206

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I had my first breakdown a few days ago. It hit me that my Dad will not be here during the holidays and it hit me full force. I cried for four hours straight. I am really dreading the holiday season and wish I could just sleep straight through the holidays to the new year.

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I had my first breakdown a few days ago. It hit me that my Dad will not be here during the holidays and it hit me full force. I cried for four hours straight. I am really dreading the holiday season and wish I could just sleep straight through the holidays to the new year.

Hi Beth, I am really sorry for your losses. It can hit like a wall, eh? Out of the blue. The craziest things can trigger memories. The first couple of years are so hard as you try to find your way again. Special occasions are particularly difficult. Let the tears flow. It is healthy and very normal. Is there something special that you could do to mark that day in memory of your father? Something to still bring him into celebrating that special day? I know that on one occasion we planted a tree in memory of a family member. It feels so good to nurture it and watch it grow. There are other tributes that are equally as lovely. It may help to ease the hurt. Just a thought. Thinking of you.

Kate

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I can completely relate, Beth. I want to look forward to Christmas because my son (7) is so excited, but all of my Christmas memories include my dad. And now he's not here. It's tough. And my mom and I are not getting along right now due to estate decisions (which is just ridiculous). I've always enjoyed the holidays. How do we get through and still enjoy some of the celebrations? Take care.

I had my first breakdown a few days ago. It hit me that my Dad will not be here during the holidays and it hit me full force. I cried for four hours straight. I am really dreading the holiday season and wish I could just sleep straight through the holidays to the new year.

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1320895042' post='80455']

Hi Beth, I am really sorry for your losses. It can hit like a wall, eh? Out of the blue. The craziest things can trigger memories. The first couple of years are so hard as you try to find your way again. Special occasions are particularly difficult. Let the tears flow. It is healthy and very normal. Is there something special that you could do to mark that day in memory of your father? Something to still bring him into celebrating that special day? I know that on one occasion we planted a tree in memory of a family member. It feels so good to nurture it and watch it grow. There are other tributes that are equally as lovely. It may help to ease the hurt. Just a thought. Thinking of you.

Kate

Hi Kate. Thanks for responding. I usually only cry like that when I am by myself. I was handling the holidays ok after my brother died. My Dad got sick in December 2009 and I started preparing myself the second time he went into the nursing home. But when he died it was still a shock. You grow up thinking your parents are invincible and nothing bad will ever happen to them. Since my Dad died I have become super protective of my Mom because besides my husband she is the only family I have left. I guess it is normal to feel that way.

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1320896740' post='80457']

I can completely relate, Beth. I want to look forward to Christmas because my son (7) is so excited, but all of my Christmas memories include my dad. And now he's not here. It's tough. And my mom and I are not getting along right now due to estate decisions (which is just ridiculous). I've always enjoyed the holidays. How do we get through and still enjoy some of the celebrations? Take care.

Hi SadRN-I am forcing myself to get into the holiday spirit because I know my Dad and brother would not want me to not celebrate because they are not here. I am worried about my Mom though bc she said she is not even going to put a tree this year.

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I had my first breakdown a few days ago. It hit me that my Dad will not be here during the holidays and it hit me full force. I cried for four hours straight. I am really dreading the holiday season and wish I could just sleep straight through the holidays to the new year.

.

Hi Beth.

I know what you are going through. My lost my Dad in August too. Who is going to build the puzzle this year? How am I supposed to make gravy without being able to call him on the phone - even when he is here in the house? Why should I buy cranberry sauce and say I forgot it if he isn't here? These things are hitting me as I write to you. My mother, sister and brother will not be here either. So, I will do what I always do in the face of adversity, I will pick myself up by the bootstraps and go on. That is all I can do. I came here in hopes of letting some of the grief and anger loose, so maybe this is what I need to do. The say it will get less, I hope they are right.

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