My Inaction Killed My Cat

[Starlight Ash]

My cat, W, (1M) passed this morning at the emergency vet clinic due to urinary obstruction. He was so young and now he's gone, which is devastating, but the worst part is that I could have saved him if only I'd acted sooner.

Saturday night, he got into a spirited romp with our other cat (G). G managed to scratch where W's scrotum met his penile sheath. It was relatively mild as far as scratches go, but it's sensitive so I expected some issues. W has slight limp on Saturday, but is still eating and drinking.

Sunday rolls around and W has quit eating/drinking. His eyes are still bright and he's still moving around. I also notice a couple vomit spots, but they appear to be white foam (common when cats have empty stomachs from what I researched). Limp is more noticeable and W is a bit lethargic. More antibacterial stuff on the wound and a bowl of ice water/wet treats. He drinks small amounts. Litter box does have a potty spot, so he appears to be urinating just fine. Call backup vet to be sure. They say bring him in tomorrow, sounds like possible infection. Monitor for fever and dehydration, but so far ok.

Call regular vet on Monday, as W has vomited more and still not eaten/drank. Told bring him in tomorrow and set earliest possible appt. Add tuna broth to encourage hydration and more ice water. Bowls are lower volume, so looks like W is drinking again. He is more lethargic, but eyes are still bright and he is alert. He moves around, but back legs shake and he doesn't go far. Appt is tomorrow, so we monitor a bit more closely but he is still moving around the room. He even moved about the house a bit

Today....he cannot stand, has not drank, and is barely moving. Still breathing though. Rush to vet appt. They tell us situation is dire, as BP and temp are low. Bladder is large and hard. We race to emergency vet, but they're 30 min away. He actually passes out/stops breathing 7 min from clinic, but comes back. We get him there, they take him back and say they will keep him a couple days. He died before they could even insert the catheter because his levels were so high.

I am devastated. I killed with my negligence/inaction and I feel so guilty. Why didn't I take him in??? There were so many signs??? I normally would have taken him the second he stopped eating. Why didn't I go?!?!? Why why why!!!!!!! 

[KayC]

This didn't show up yesterday, I'm sorry you didn't get a response right away.

I am so sorry for your Kitty's loss, so hard, no matter what the circumstances.  You did your best to get him help, how could you know ahead of time this is how it'd go!

 Pure and simple, you didn't take him in immediately because you didn't know, the vet didn't let on to take him in emergency.  I hope you let the vet know how/why your cat died, if nothing else it'd let them know to be more reactive next time someone presents this way. 

You can be sure your kitty is fine now, now it's YOU carrying the pain.  We will be with them again, of that I am sure.  Until then, there is that kitty shaped hole in your heart. 

 

I lost my husband 17 years ago Father's Day, suddenly, unexpectedly, way too young, and I went through all the what-ifs too, and also with my animals that have passed.  Death is very hard for us to process, it's traumatic to our brains.

Comfort for Grieving Animal Lovers
A Dangerous Villain: Guilt
http://www.pet-loss.net/guilt.shtml
http://www.griefhealing.com/article-loss-and-the-burden-of-guilt.htm
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2019/08/pet-loss-when-guilt-overshadows-grief.html
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2017/07/pet-loss-when-guilt-goes-unresolved.html

I hope this short video brings you some comfort and peace.

 

[Starlight Ash]

KayC,

Thank you so so much for your reply! I have been heartbroken, but this forum and my support network have been wonderful. I have already reached out to everyone: local shelters, our primary vet, our backup vet, and any friends/family I know with male cats. I am trying to turn my grief into activism, so that no one else has to go through this. If I save even ONE cat from what my sweet W suffered, it will be worthwhile.

The video did help, as have the resources you posted. I am so happy this forum exists because it has been a lifeline.

Ash

I am absolutely ashamed that I forgot to add this: I am so sorry for your loss. I know it was many years ago, but I am so so sorry all the same.

[KayC]

It seems grief/loss is my life now, but I totally believe in lending purpose to what we've gone through, if we can help others with what we've been through we've made it not be for nothing...such as John Walsh with Missing Children.

I help what I can with grief groups and help run two diabetic groups, one is just getting started, the other has thousands of members worldwide...both are my passion.  We never want anyone to face this alone or without answers...I wish you the best in your endeavors.  From your statement here, I already know I like you.