???

[dark_phoebe]

06/19/22

I finally found the person for me but I know my mom would be proud. But that doesn't stop the pain from seeping in. Also I wrote something that might represent how i'm feeling :

 

I can see your hands as they reach beneath the mess and muck I can hear you as you call out but I cannot call back 

Your voice once a plea now just a hollow shrill 

Is now noise falling on deaf ears 

But now that I am submerged under the mess and muck, I claw at my own throat to feel anything 

I cannot hear you but I see you as I sink into the abyss of nothing 

[Kevin8988]

I can't find a thread to post my thoughts, so I write it here.  

On the day my father passed away, I didn't want to sleep because I wouldn't be able to say I just talked to my dad today once I fell asleep and woke up. 

[Kevin8988]

My sister passed at a young age. She was a kind person. In fact, among the two of us, I was always the evil child that would play tricks to get what I want and get things done in my way.  After she passed, I started reflecting upon my own behaviors every time I think of my sister.  I thank God for giving me a sister like her so that I can learn to be a better,  kinder person, and improve my soul for the other side.

[Kevin8988]

I have been going to chapels and praying almost everyday since my mom passed away 4 weeks ago. One day I was dozing off in the chapel and I dreamed of my mom, she sat on the front bench and raised her hand to acknowledge me.  I couldn't tell if she is still on a wheelchair.  I thought souls in heaven are all relieved of physical sufferings.  I really hope my mom is doing well in heaven now.

[Kevin8988]

My dad passed 3 years ago.  It took me more than a year to start going through his things and threwing away some really worn clothes.  The last few years of his life, he refused to buy any new clothes because he knew he would be gone, so most of his clothes are really worn.

Even now I still have most of his stuff left in his bedroom.  It is hard to throw away his things because all of them are memories.

[Kevin8988]

I had a dream last night.  In the dream I traveled to some foreign countries, on the last day before my flight back to the U S., I shared a big hotel room with some other fellow Americans, everybody went to sleep in their own bed rooms.  Then the door bell rang, I open the door, my mom and my dad came visit me. I gave my mom and dad the longest hug ever. 

[Carebear9685]

I lost my dad last month and my mom and my sister and i stayed with him when he passed. I didn't wanna leave the hospital even after he passed away because I knew that I would never see him again. Now I feel like the pain of losing him gets heavier and heavier every day. I just don't know how to help my son when I can't even help myself.