My heart is breaking...

[SadRN]

So, my mother asked me to be the administrator of my father's estate and handle all of the finances. And now she has completely turned on me. She claims that I have tried to deceive her and that I am trying to get all the money and put her in a nursing home. First off, I paid for all of the funeral and all of the groceries and medications when my dad got sick, while she was on a vacation in South Carolina. I stayed at the hospital with him and arranged everything. I put her name on a checking account that my father added me to so that she would feel involved. And I have paid all of the land taxes and insurance. She is in good health and 65. The only thing that was mentioned by the attorney (not me) was that a life estate is better financially than jointly owned property in the event one party has to go in a nursing home or something catastrophic happens. It is devastating. And behind it all is a manipulative boyfriend she has had for 15 years. My heart is broken.

[tmeredith]

SadRN, I am so sorry that you are having to endure this type of treatment after the loss of your father. You probably feel like you are losing at least the support of your mother as well. It is so painful to have this type of family strife when dealing with the difficulties of settling an estate. We had some of that but fortunately nothing like you mentioned. I wish I had some advice to offer. The only thing I think you can do is keep your cool and let your mom know what has been done and why. The situation with the boyfriend is unfortunate. Hopefully when the estate is settled things will calm down. I am sure you are terribly hurt by all of this. After all she is your mom and should be there to support you through this difficult time, especially since it seems she does not have the same level of emotional loss over the death of your father as you have given their split and her long-term relationship with her boyfriend. Take care and hang in there. You have a lot on your plate and it sounds like you are doing your absolute best in some very tough circumstances. Come and share how things are going anytime you like.