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A Letter from a Broken Heart


MarcHannah18

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I am feeling for you, I know the feelings all too well, it seems I've lost everyone close to me...husband, Arlie (dog), parents, grands, aunts/uncles, cousins, countless pets & friends, niece and nephew, and now two sisters, including my closest and most recent one.  I'm growing old alone.  It means a lot be be able to come here and share openly, as you guys are the one place I can come to where people "get it."  You all understand, no judgment, no one expecting anything, just caring and understanding...and we're all in the same boat, regardless of variety of details/circumstances.

10 hours ago, MarcHannah18 said:

Dreams are now deprived by destiny.

I'm not sure how I feel about "destiny" as it implies we have no choices and nothing we do makes a difference.  Yes, some things are out of our hands, but how we respond does make a difference.  I don't know why some get to live to old age together and others of us...it's yanked away seemingly prematurely.  I no longer question as I never got any resounding answers to my WHY!

10 hours ago, MarcHannah18 said:

Sometimes really life is unfair.

Absolutely!  Sometimes I think our parents (and us with our kids) did us a a disservice, bending over backwards to be 'fair" when in reality it ill prepared us for the reality of life...it is anything BUT fair!  We can let it embitter us or we can just accept it is what it is.  I've chosen the latter as it seems healthier to me.  I don't want to carry anger, bitterness, etc. as I've seen what it does to people.  Sometimes we go through the emotions and it takes a while to get through to the other side.  Part of the process.

10 hours ago, MarcHannah18 said:

My only prayer is that God will give me more strength to face tomorrow

He gives us strength for today...this day, this moment...hence I've learned to do one day at a time.  The Bible says each day has enough trouble of it's own.  I believe that.  So I stick to today.

 

10 hours ago, MarcHannah18 said:

What is the sense of a hundred heartbeats per second without the person that makes it worth beating for?

I guess the only answer I've found for that is that I am worth it.  It took me a while to realize that.

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MarcHannah18,

No. It is not that our One True God is punishing you, or that you ‘committed’ such a 'grave sin' (or number of 'grave sins') against our One True God,

No, you have not become “such a bad person”. You are asking these questions because you know your own God, and because you know that none of your/my/our current pain, suffering and anguish comes from your/my/our God. You already sense this, yes?

But. Regardless of what is going on here on Earth right now (including Russia-Ukraine war; refugee camps; floods, typhoons and fires), we still do need to just be able to find/have our own trust, confidence and faith in our own True God, and, for the present time on Earth, we need to find our own strength to make that be enough. I know that it is extremely difficult and challenging. I know. I know that it is not you (or me, or all of the people in Ukraine as a collective), and that it is not that you have done (or I have done, or the people in Ukraine have done) anything so 'wrong' or violent or brutal against our God. It is not that; it is something else.

Our One True God Bless you, and our one True God Give you the strength to just keep fighting until you come to your personal point where God Is Your Victory. (He needs us, right now, to just keep fighting to keep our own trust, confidence and faith in Him.)     Obviously I've also been questioning all of your questions, about my own self. Or, at least, hopefully that is obvious.

Love and hugs,     Ronni

Edited by Ronni_W
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