Jump to content
Forum Conduct & Guidelines Document ×

Lost my partner. Under investigation


Goforth860

Recommended Posts

  • Members
Goforth860

Well inknew something wasn't right about the whole situation but I tried to let it go. Not think about it. Just continue on with my life. Well my partners daughter who has always given and taken her love from her dad and myself has informed me that she is no longer going to talk with me. She told me to stay away from her. In the midst of the long msg she informed me that I am under investigation. For what i haven't a clue. He died of natural causes. I didn't havecany hand in his death. I did not check on him when I heard him say something or holler or whatever it waz I heard while I was in the bathtub with my head under water.  I feel so guilty fir not checking on him but he was his own man. We were going through an argument and I was mad so I didn't go into his room and check on him. I know how the American justice system works. IT DOESN'T!!! ITS SO BROKEN!!! I have nothing to hide but I've seen plenty of "interviews" turn ppl into inmates and I don't want to be one of those ppl. How am I supposed to go on grieving when there's a cloud of suspension over me. 

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Sorry for your loss.  Hopefully you won't be asked to be interviewed by anyone. If you feel like his daughter is trying to make more out of it with the authorities then it wouldn't hurt to get legal representation.  Don't agree to talk to anyone without it. Are you able to get a death certificate?  Autopsy report, if one was performed which I think certain states require them when a person dies at home.  Let these facts speak for themselves and that's really all I would do. His daughter is grieving too, this may be a backwards way of doing it, but hopefully it will be short lived and this cloud of suspicion will fade away in time.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Goforth860, 

I doubt that you are under any investigation. It was probably just a rant by his grieving daughter, trying to make sense of this tragedy. 

I would  leave her alone for the time being. There is no sense in trying to reason with her  right now, with you both grieving. 

If the police ask you you to come in for an interview, which I don't think they will, just tell them that you want a lawyer (public defender) present to help you understand what is happening. 

In your grief, your brain is not functioning at it's best.  It is reasonable for you to have legal counsel with you during any interview.  It does not imply any guilt. 

Try not to worry about this. It is unlikely anything will come of it. 

Gail

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderators

She says this but who knows if there's any truth to it, she could be gaslighting you because she's angry, in her grief, and it's safer for her to direct it towards you than...who do you direct it to?  There is no one tangible to "blame."  Sometimes our emotions are so strong, and grief is one of those times, we don't know what to do with it but it's here, in our face, demanding to be dealt with.  Honor her wishes and keep your distance from her.  Maybe someday she'll come around, maybe she won't, you can't change that.

Gail gave you sound advice.  We're here with you, we're listening, we care...:wub:

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderators
14 hours ago, Goforth860 said:

I understand they're grieving too but there is no place to put the blame.

You are so right.  And I'm glad you're unapologetic to your friend, she should not have counted, tell her she can get used to that because he still IS your world!  If she has a problem with that she can bow out, the same way all of our friends did from the get go.  I found a new best friend, we were besties for ten years, during which time she also lost her husband and I was there for her...seven years ago she moved to TX to remarry and although I'm happy for her, I miss her very much.  It's weird the journey we go through in life and how it unwinds...

14 hours ago, Goforth860 said:

I know I'm babbling but I just don't know where or who to talk with to tell these things.

I felt this insatiable urge to talk to anyone who would listen in those early months, but with all friends disappearing, it was hard.  I talk to my dog and myself mostly.  My neighbors probably all think me a little crazy. ;)  Come here, talk away, we're here to listen...

 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderators

I'm glad you made it through what had to be done and I totally get it...I cried when I had surgery alone and no George to be here for/with me.  I made arrangements ahead of time but no one came through for me, went to bed hungry.  It's a lonely feeling.  I'm glad you're taking one day at a time.  I remember the Bible saying to do that because each day has enough trouble of it's own, oh boy, do I get that!

  • Like 1
  • Hugs 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
Goforth860

I you don't ask certain questions because you'll jinx yourself but I feel like this has been WAY too much on my plate. I'm honestly not sure how I'm supposed to take everything.  I know ppl say take it with a grain of salt but ar this moment I'd need a 10 lb bag of salt. There's not a single second that he's not on my mind. I miss him so much it hurts to the core and I've been shaking to the core since I found him. 💔 God help me! Please if you believe in God Allah the mother Mary or the sun and moon please ask for me to have the strength to continue on. 

  • Like 1
  • Hugs 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
2 hours ago, Goforth860 said:

Please if you believe in God Allah the mother Mary or the sun and moon please ask for me to have the strength to continue on. 

Hugs and prayers heading your way Goforth860.  You have displayed considerable strength already.  I know we always don’t have a choice of what’s on our plate, but if you can, focus on only what’s absolutely necessary.  We’re all thinking of you. 

God bless, steve

  • Like 1
  • Hugs 1
  • Angel Wings 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderators

Please don't think about their investigation IF there even is one!  You did not need anything else!  His daughter is young and doesn't know what she's saying/doing.  In our early grief it's hard to think straight.  Just take each minute as it comes, remember to breathe, eat something, sip some water.  That is all that is necessary for today.  One day at a time.  I so agree with Steve.  

You're in my thoughts and prayers already.

  • Like 2
  • Angel Wings 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

This site uses cookies We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue. and uses these terms of services Terms of Use.