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I lost my dog of 20 years , I just can't carry on.


Nigel_Owen_Hart

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Nigel_Owen_Hart

I just had to put my dog down . We were together 20 years he was a best friend I ever had I am absolutely distraught I don't think I can carry on without him and just don't know what to do life is not fair I just want him back. 

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I was in your position almost exactly a week ago today, you have my hearfelt sympathies. I had 10 years with my best friend, but no amount of years would have been enough. You are going to have i

t tough for a while but the pain will ease gradually. Having said that I am hating the fact that it does as it somehow feels that she is slipping even further away from me. I am not religous but I am going to Church shortly as I can't think of anywhere else better to be when the time comes to mark her passing exactly one week ago.

I hope you can find some peace

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I think dave meant to say the pain will decrease gradually.  Nothing is as bad as the early grief, the shock, all daily interactions missing are a trigger as is anything they used.. Some people remove the items, I was the opposite.  I still keep a bowl full of water in his doghouse (it is large)  2 1/2 years later..  Not saying this is "normal," but we have to do what makes US comfortable!  I have his coat hanging on my chair, his leash hanging by the door.  I'm not delusional, I know he's not coming back, it's more a way of honoring him.  I have a spot by my bedroom door with his memoirs, lock of hair, etc.  I still can't read the medical report..  (He had cancer and they diagnosed him as untreatable two weeks after giving him a clean bill of health!).  I provided his hospice care and went through everything with him.  I loved my boy, he was my soulmate, my everything.

I am so sorry for your loss!  I'm sorry anyone has to be missing their best friend.

You are right, life is not fair.  Nothing fair about this.  I've never heard of 20 years!  What kind of dog?  Mine was half Husky, half Golden Retriever.  My perfect dog.  I found it helped to write about him, I didn't want any part of his story to be forgotten, he was the most special dog ever.  His amazing communication skills, his consideration, his love, loyalty, protectiveness, and his abundance of goofiness and ever-ready smile.

Comfort for Grieving Animal Lovers

 

 

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Nigel_Owen_Hart
6 hours ago, dave w said:

I was in your position almost exactly a week ago today, you have my hearfelt sympathies. I had 10 years with my best friend, but no amount of years would have been enough. You are going to have i

t tough for a while but the pain will ease gradually. Having said that I am hating the fact that it does as it somehow feels that she is slipping even further away from me. I am not religous but I am going to Church shortly as I can't think of anywhere else better to be when the time comes to mark her passing exactly one week ago.

I hope you can find some peace

Thank you all for these comforting words , my dog was a Jack Russell and I know it will get easier in time but it feels so raw at the moment and the house feels empty it doesn't feel like a home anymore.

 

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Hello @Nigel_Owen_Hart just wanted to comment and express how sorry I am for the loss of your dog. 

20 years, wow. I know how incredibly painful this is. After suddenly losing my cat, I was insane with grief. It was sudden and he suffered and so I couldn't bare to think about that part. It made it so much worse. 

The physical loss, you are never fully prepared for no matter how much logic you use. These are the early days and they are the worst, hang in there. I promise in time, it will get better. That doesn't mean you forget or "get over" but you reach a place of acceptance and peace.

After I made it through the worst days of my grief, I tried to remember that having that cat made me a better person and so I will honor that in all the ways that I can.

 

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On 5/22/2022 at 3:39 PM, AJWCat said:

having that cat made me a better person and so I will honor that in all the ways that I can.

That's what I do with loss of my husband George too.  It's bringing something positive into this experience that none of us wanted or asked for.

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Good short concise article, I've saved it.  I had a friend make me this after losing my Arlie

image.jpeg

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foreverhis
On 5/22/2022 at 3:39 PM, AJWCat said:

After I made it through the worst days of my grief, I tried to remember that having that cat made me a better person and so I will honor that in all the ways that I can.

So true for me as well. My soul dog Charlie Bear (Keeshond) taught me to be more patient because I wasn’t at first with his puppy behavior. I never yelled or anything, but I got frustrated inside. He taught me about unconditional love (though so did my husband John). He helped me open my heart and life to small adventures and being grateful for the moment (again, so did John).

I’m far from perfect, but I’m a better person than I think I would have been.

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So true, we learn a lot from them and they are the most wonderful parts of our lives.

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foreverhis
On 5/22/2022 at 3:39 PM, AJWCat said:

After I made it through the worst days of my grief, I tried to remember that having that cat made me a better person and so I will honor that in all the ways that I can.

This is a poem I wrote about our Charlie Bear a few weeks after he died.  It started as four stanzas, but then I realized that the last line of each stanza was all that mattered.

 

Bear

Our home is warmer because he lived in it

Our hands are gentler because they caressed him

Our hearts are stronger because he loved us

The generous soul who was our Bear

 

I miss him every day, even though it's been many years.  There never was a dog like him in my life.  We loved him with every breath and felt proud that he chose us to be his family. 

I have to say that my dog friend Raleigh who visits me a few afternoons and early evenings each week has become a close second.  She has helped me in my grief more than I can say.  Her parents are good friends who live across the street (literally), so even during the peak of COVID, we were able to "exchange" the dog by standing in the street (dead end in a quiet area) and me calling her over or her mom or dad would bring her to the door and then stand back.  I'd open the door and say, "Who's here? Who's here?" while she flew in without a backward glance.  During 2020 and into 2021, I had her four afternoons a week because my friends were really concerned about me being isolated again.  What a blessing that was.  When she's with me, she is my focus.  She's so darn happy all the time.  She's happy to be here; she's happy when it's time to go home; she's happy when her other human friends visit; she's happy with play time and little walks and snuggly naps and sitting quietly together.  I have been able to find more moments of happiness myself and take bits of joy in the little things because of her (and my circle of friends and family, of course).  I tell her, "I love you" and kiss the back of her head.  I know she doesn't understand the words, but she understands the emotion.  Special, she is definitely that and more. 

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