i put down my pet dog and i dont want to live anymore

[caleb horne]

I had to put my dog down recently and i dont feel the need to live anymore. He was i had to cope with stress, ALL I TO DO IS SEE HIM AGAIN and looking at photos only makes it worse  ive tried it all NOTHINGS WORKING  I NEED HELP

[hollysmom]

I’m so sorry. I feel the same way as you. I don’t have any advice, as I’m still deeply struggling, but know you’re not alone. Every day I get up and ask myself why I’m still here. My dog was the only good thing in my life.

[KayC]

19 hours ago, caleb horne said:

I had to put my dog down recently and i dont feel the need to live anymore.

Oh I understand this one!  I lost my husband on Father's Day June 19 nearly 17 years ago, I didn't see how the sun could go on shining without him in it!  I didn't see how I could live a WEEK without him!  He was my soulmate and best friend, the love of my life, he'd just had his 51st birthday, looked the picture of health, not an ounce overweight.  Heart attack with diabetic complications, doing what the doctor said.

Little by little I lost my pets.  Feb. 2009 I adopted Arlie (Husky/Golden Retriever), he was my LIFE!  He was wild and crazy and in terrible health when I got him, he chewed up everything in my house that first year (he was a year old but had never been worked with...I suspected he'd been tied up in someone's back yard and neglected).  He was starving when they found him, in the two weeks he was at the humane society he gained 16 lbs and was still skinny.  He had acute chronic Colitis and couldn't tolerate antibiotics, he also got kennel cough there.  He couldn't tolerate the vet's food.  I cooked for him, gave him Probios, he had to be on low fat diet.  He got up to 140 (dogs who've known starvation are food driven) and had to be put on a diet, he lost down to 110 and stayed there.

Needless to say, he was my LIFE!  I called him my "soulmate in a dog."  He was loving, loyal, a great companion, goofy, funny, considerate, and so smart!  He had the most evolved communication of any dog I've ever met!  He had a tonal language with his Husky talk, and it was amazing, a different sound for everything!  We could read each other.  The day came he was shockingly diagnosed with inoperable cancer, his liver shutting down.  My world crashed.  The next two months were so hard, I was in mourning, watching him go downhill bit by bit, I gave him SAM-e and CBD oil, liver supplements, but I knew his time was drawing near.  He wanted to go see his dog friend, Sammy, so we made our way there...1 1/2 days before I had him euthanized.  He had to stop and rest several time during the block to her house.  He went through the slow motions of trying to run with her and then they rested under the cedar tree together.  I thought about going and getting the car for him but I knew this was something HE wanted to do, on his own.  We slowly walked him, stopping to rest several times.  He laid on the couch the rest of the night, smiling, happy he'd seen her again.  He was ready.

Afterwards it was the hardest thing in the world.  He was MY LIFE!  I didn't know how to do life without him.  It felt just like when I'd lost my husband.  This time I had the tools inside of me that helped me, everything I'd learned about grief, but STILL it was hard!  The pain was tremendous, I know of no pain worse than that which resides inside of us.  His dishes, bed, toys, EVERYTHING a visible reminder of my loss of him.  His fence, his pickup, his doghouse, everything.  

About ten years after losing my husband, I wrote this article:
 

Grief Process

This is not a one-size-fits-all, what strikes us one day will be different a few months/years from now, so please save/print this for reference!

I want to share an article I wrote of the things I've found helpful over the years, in the hopes something will be of help to you either now or on down the road.

TIPS TO MAKE YOUR WAY THROUGH GRIEF

There's no way to sum up how to go on in a simple easy answer, but I encourage you to read the other threads here, little by little you will learn how to make your way through this.  I do want to give you some pointers though, of some things I've learned on my journey.

• Take one day at a time.  The Bible says each day has enough trouble of its own, I've found that to be true, so don't bite off more than you can chew.  It can be challenging enough just to tackle today.  I tell myself, I only have to get through today.  Then I get up tomorrow and do it all over again.  To think about the "rest of my life" invites anxiety.
• Don't be afraid, grief may not end but it evolves.  The intensity lessens eventually.
• Visit your doctor.  Tell them about your loss, any troubles sleeping, suicidal thoughts, anxiety attacks.  They need to know these things in order to help you through it...this is all part of grief.
• Suicidal thoughts are common in early grief.  If they're reoccurring, call a suicide hotline.  I felt that way early on, but then realized it wasn't that I wanted to die so much as I didn't want to go through what I'd have to face if I lived.  Back to taking a day at a time.  Suicide Hotline - Call 1-800-273-8255 or www.crisis textline.org or US and Canada: text 741741 UK: text 85258 | Ireland: text 50808
• Give yourself permission to smile.  It is not our grief that binds us to them, but our love, and that continues still.
• Try not to isolate too much.  
• There's a balance to reach between taking time to process our grief, and avoiding it...it's good to find that balance for yourself.  We can't keep so busy as to avoid our grief, it has a way of haunting us, finding us, and demanding we pay attention to it!  Some people set aside time every day to grieve.  I didn't have to, it searched and found me!
• Self-care is extremely important, more so than ever.  That person that would have cared for you is gone, now you're it...learn to be your own best friend, your own advocate, practice self-care.  You'll need it more than ever.
• Recognize that your doctor isn't trained in grief, find a professional grief counselor that is.  We need help finding ourselves through this maze of grief, knowing where to start, etc.  They have not only the knowledge, but the resources.
• In time, consider a grief support group.  If your friends have not been through it themselves, they may not understand what you're going through, it helps to find someone somewhere who DOES "get it". 
• Be patient, give yourself time.  There's no hurry or timetable about cleaning out belongings, etc.  They can wait, you can take a year, ten years, or never deal with it.  It's okay, it's what YOU are comfortable with that matters.  
• Know that what we are comfortable with may change from time to time.  That first couple of years I put his pictures up, took them down, up, down, depending on whether it made me feel better or worse.  Finally, they were up to stay.
• Consider a pet.  Not everyone is a pet fan, but I've found that my dog helps immensely.  It's someone to love, someone to come home to, someone happy to see me, someone that gives me a purpose...I have to come home and feed him.  Besides, they're known to relieve stress.  Well maybe not in the puppy stage when they're chewing up everything, but there's older ones to adopt if you don't relish that stage.
• Make yourself get out now and then.  You may not feel interest in anything, things that interested you before seem to feel flat now.  That's normal.  Push yourself out of your comfort zone just a wee bit now and then.  Eating out alone, going to a movie alone or church alone, all of these things are hard to do at first.  You may feel you flunked at it, cried throughout, that's okay, you did it, you tried, and eventually you get a little better at it.  If I waited until I had someone to do things with I'd be stuck at home a lot.
• Keep coming here.  We've been through it and we're all going through this together.
• Look for joy in every day.  It will be hard to find at first, but in practicing this, it will change your focus so you can embrace what IS rather than merely focusing on what ISN'T.  It teaches you to live in the present and appreciate fully.  You have lost your big joy in life, and all other small joys may seem insignificant in comparison, but rather than compare what used to be to what is, learn the ability to appreciate each and every small thing that comes your way...a rainbow, a phone call from a friend, unexpected money, a stranger smiling at you, whatever the small joy, embrace it.  It's an art that takes practice and is life changing if you continue it.
• Eventually consider volunteering.  It helps us when we're outward focused, it's a win/win.

(((hugs))) Praying for you today.

 But what do you do when your way of getting through grief was your dog, and now even your dog is gone?!

Very hard.  It's individual.  I tried to adopt/rescue, but ran into problems, I got bitten 8 times in the next two years!  I'd never been bitten in my life before (I'm turning 70 this year) and now I have a botched surgery on my hands and another injury from a dermatologist and another from a chow's yank to add to the mix.  I've lost most of my strength and have continual pain in my hands.  Trying to get through this was very hard.

Eventually my son brought me a puppy, conceived when Arlie died, born on my birthday.  He was tiny, not a "gentle giant" like Arlie, he looked different, acted different.  At first it was hard not to compare but eventually I learned to love him for who HE is!  He saved my life, I believe Arlie had a paw in this.  Kodie is my constant companion now.  I tell him all about his big brother, Arlie...he listens.  I look out over the back yard where my husband's ashes were scattered, where all of my dogs and cats were buried, their tombstones...rocks I painted on Arlie's grave, now joined by 25 1/2 year old Kitty, just 4 1/2 months after him.  My kids refer to it as the family cemetery.  It's where I want my ashes laid to rest.

I believe their spirits continue long after their body gives out.  Holding out hope for us being with them again.  I will hug my big beautiful boy, with his ever ready smile.  The Bible says we'll get a new body and I believe his will look just like he did in the prime of his life, his tail full and no sign of cancer's ravages.  I have maybe 23 more years to go if I follow my mom's suit, less if I don't.  When Kodie goes, I'll be ready...he can live another 14 years, I'll be good and ready any time then.  I feel where you are, I really do.  Give yourself time, this is a very hard adjustment, the hardest ever.  

Pain - When Nothing Eases it
We Will See Our Pets in Heaven
Why Does It Hurt So Much?
When is the right time to get a new pet?
Writing helped me....it was important to me that Arlie's story never be forgotten.  He was one of a kind.

 

 

 

[CharliesM0m2012]

I know how you feel; 

we had to take the tough decision to peacefully put my 9yr old Patterdale x Jack Russell to sleep just 2 weeks ago.  
 

Even though she had no previous health issues, Charlie had become lethargic + not interested in food, walks or play for a few weeks.  Vet tests showed up that she’d been suffering from splenic cancer / hemangiosarcoma for many months, it was at a stage where treatment would only have prolonged her illness for 4 months.  
 

I’m currently 32, I had Charlie since she was a 16 week old pup and I was 22 with my first “proper” job.  We grew up together.  I am devastated.

I take comfort in the fact she is now in a happy place with the family’s other dog, my granddad, grandmother + uncle.  I miss her every day.  
 

about helping another animal in the future, I have said well, “never say never;”.  I don’t think the time is right yet though it’s too soon.  
 

(pic is of Charlie as a 16 week old pup!)

[CharliesM0m2012]

On 5/12/2022 at 8:04 PM, caleb horne said:

I had to put my dog down recently and i dont feel the need to live anymore. He was i had to cope with stress, ALL I TO DO IS SEE HIM AGAIN and looking at photos only makes it worse  ive tried it all NOTHINGS WORKING  I NEED HELP

I’ve been in floods of tears over losing my Charlie girl, my little shadow dog who was with me for 9 + a half years.  She slept with me, watched TV with me, ate with me, etc.  I feel the physical loss and a nasty tugging sensation when I’m crying loads as if something is being ripped from me.  The pain of losing a dog I have had from puppyhood is too much.  She had a couple of years in her left, but she had untreatable cancer.  I know how you are feeling at this time, I too feel as if I want to happily go and join my little Charlie, but I’m trying to take 1 hour at a time.

[KayC]

Your Charlie looks much like Jackson, the one I tried to adopt but bit me several times...except Jackson was white.  He'd have been perfect if not for the biting.  He needed an owner that lived in a city and could take him for therapy, I live in the country and the only place that has psyche treatment is Portland, 3 1/2 hours from here.  Also, maybe someone with more experience with such issues, not an old lady!

5 hours ago, CharliesM0m2012 said:

She had a couple of years in her left, but she had untreatable cancer.

This is how I felt about Arlie.  I never expected the C word, it devastated us.  It kills me that anyone should ever have to go through this.

6 hours ago, CharliesM0m2012 said:

 I don’t think the time is right yet though it’s too soon.  

It IS very soon.  You will know when it's time and the right one for you.

[foreverhis]

17 hours ago, KayC said:

It IS very soon.  You will know when it's time and the right one for you.

Absolutely.  We can't rush it, but I think we somehow do know when it's time, when we've been "chosen" to let a new love into our lives and our hearts.  When we were choosing a kitten, who ended up being my husband's soulmate in a cat, we had actually decided on her twin brother.  In the time it took to turn around and sign the papers, she switched places with him.  The licensed small breeder (we had to go with purebred long hair because of John's allergy; long story) scooped "him" up and off we went.  We took our kitten to our vet the next day for a health check.  He gave her a full exam, pronounced her perfect, and then said, "You do know you have a female don't you?  You wrote male on the patient forms."  Oops.  We got home and the breeder called.  She asked if we'd done the health check and was massively apologetic.  She said she would correct the error and bring us the other kitten.  John told her in no uncertain terms that it wasn't happening.  In 24 hours, he and Penny had bonded and that was that.  She was a daddy's girl for all of her 18 years.  There's not a doubt in my mind that she chose him and was determined to be with us.  She loved her whole family and extended family so much.  She was simply wonderful.  It was the best mistake of our lives, I think.

Nothing can ever replace our lost sweethearts.  And, if I'm honest, I wouldn't want it any other way.  I am okay with the fractured pieces of my heart never fitting together the same way because it means that I was lucky enough to find and share a love like no other.  That's true for our two most special pets (Charlie Bear, my soul dog; Penny, obviously John's soul cat) and, of course, my soulmate in every way, my beloved John.

I'm thinking about opening my life to rescuing a cat this fall.  An adult, female, preferably tabby medium or long hair.  Most importantly, she must be good with having a small dog around a few days a week because there's not a chance I am changing my Raleigh time.  I think I'll know when I meet the right one.

[KayC]

I've thought about that, will know when the time is right, I believe the right one will come to me (they always have, I've never had to go looking for one).  Right now I have a feral cat making a mess of my car/attic/rafters.  Yesterday it was in my backyard and meowed at me.  I can't get close enough to see if its eyes are healthy.  I need to get someone to trap it and spay/neuter it, get it checked out.  I haven't determined to adopt it, IMO you don't adopt ferals, they're wild (unless they want that, not usually) but you help them.  Don't have cat food and wouldn't want to feed it if wild.  But this IS how I got Miss Mocha!  She was obviously not feral and had already been spayed.  Very sweet cat, I miss her.

[CharliesM0m2012]

On 5/14/2022 at 1:07 PM, KayC said:

Your Charlie looks much like Jackson, the one I tried to adopt but bit me several times...except Jackson was white.  He'd have been perfect if not for the biting.  He needed an owner that lived in a city and could take him for therapy, I live in the country and the only place that has psyche treatment is Portland, 3 1/2 hours from here.  Also, maybe someone with more experience with such issues, not an old lady!

This is how I felt about Arlie.  I never expected the C word, it devastated us.  It kills me that anyone should ever have to go through this.

It IS very soon.  You will know when it's time and the right one for you.

Wow! Not a bad difference! He’s got Charlie’s Patterdale facial expression.  I’m trying to adapt to life without her, yet I still pray every night that one sweet day another beautifully unique companion will come along and keep me company until it’s time to meet Charlie and Jericho again 

[KayC]

Even though I couldn't keep him I never forgot him and still love him...I only had him three days, but like Joe (the Chow I walked for ten months that damaged my hands so badly) I love them both still and will never forget them.

15 hours ago, CharliesM0m2012 said:

I still pray every night that one sweet day another beautifully unique companion will come along and keep me company until it’s time to meet Charlie and Jericho again 

I believe that will happen.  It did for me.  My little Kodie is not like Arlie but is a wonderful companion and I'm horribly attached to him!  I couldn't live without him.  I will always call Arlie my "soulmate in a dog."  Nothing changes that, not even death.