Feels like yesterday

[xplosive]

I lost my mother two years ago. I feel childish like she will return and everything will be fine. She was always trying to get us to eat healthier. We were shocked to learn she had stage 4 stomach cancer. There were times when she took herself to the hospital and was told it was gastritis but then on one visit she found out it was stomach cancer. I get angry just thinking about it all and all the medications she was on that I don’t think work well with a natural diet. I’m also just trying to make sense of this disease on someone who didn’t smoke or drink or eat junk food but was sometimes a little anxious. The last few weeks she got covid and then a broken hip while she was in the hospital. She was in so much pain. I feel like I struggle trusting this world some days and I’m just waiting to die.

We watched from behind the cemetery gates as she was buried and sometimes I wonder if her body is really there. 

[Daddys girl kw]

there is nothing i can say will make this ok or less painful for you .. but i pray you find peace in ur heart and comfort in ur soul .. sorry for ur loss

[ADM925]

On 5/7/2022 at 8:10 PM, xplosive said:

The last few weeks she got covid and then a broken hip while she was in the hospital. She was in so much pain. I feel like I struggle trusting this world some days and I’m just waiting to die.

To see them go through these unthinkable ordeals and then leave us - a Hell itself could hardly be worse.

On 5/7/2022 at 8:10 PM, xplosive said:

I feel childish like she will return and everything will be fine.

You are not alone.  The dreams seem so real I think it has happened or that I have gone to be with her and Father, only to wake up alone in shock and horror.

4 hours ago, Daddys girl kw said:

there is nothing i can say will make this ok or less painful for you .. but i pray you find peace in ur heart and comfort in ur soul .. sorry for ur loss

I can only echo this and pray the same for us all even though it seems impossible