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I *know* that I'm NOT weird...but...am I weird??? <lol>


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I don't get why "anger and grief" is not a more active part of the 'grief and bereavement' process. And I also don't get why so many grieving people need external validation for their own internal feelings and processes.

For me...I suppose, or, at least, have to suspect about myself, that I'd be pretty pissed off -- *If only* I knew at who or what, exactly, to be pretty pissed off.

I'm not angry at God; I'm not angry at my now-dead husband. Or, am I just BSing myself about one or both of what I just typed? How do we know, or, how can I know *for sure*?   Am I fearful/afraid/too traumatized to say that I am angry at who used to be my very best friend, my staunchest protector and defender, my most ardent supporter, my Ray of Sunshine on Earth, and/or angry at God? (How do we know, or, how can I know *for sure*?) Freaking circular questions that need me to think too hard, to come up with my own answers!!! Can I be angry at those? <lol>

And, for me...I was looking for external validation, from the so-called "grief researchers and experts and professional counselors", to tell me that they're sorry for my personal experiences, and that I feel this way, and that I didn't/don't deserve this level/intensity of pain and anguish and suffering. (I'm kind of getting past this piece of garbage, slowly but surely, but still...it pisses me off that these "experts" and "professionals" can make people who are suffering from all types of losses feel 'less than' or 'abnormal' and other stuff like that, just because their/our/my experience of loss and grief and bereavement does not fall in the 'average' range of things.)

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