Today Is my Dad’s Birthday. It hurts so much!

[Phoenix-Kat]

My dad would turn 80 today. 
I am beyond sad and feel paralyzed. Not able to do anything today. 
I will go out later and at least get him some fresh flowers. I have an altar at home and talk to my dad every day. It helps a bit with the pain. 
Today I am angry. And I don’t want to be angry on his birthday. 
I am mad. Mad that he passed away and my family told me 1.5 months later on the day his ashes were gone into the ocean. 

[reader]

Dear Kat,

I'm sorry to hear it was such a difficult day. Please know feeling anger and sadness is part of our grief. We all miss our parents so much and it is incredibly difficult to go through these milestones without them. I do the same thing too and try to bring my dad flowers on all the major holidays and his birthday. It's something small but I find the ritual comforting.

Please know we are with you. Thinking of you.

[hope4eva]

hi Kat,

I feel you. I lost my mum 10 years ago, and the pain doesnt seem to go away at all. My family members have all moved on, having their own families and it feels as if i'm still stuck in the past. I get angry with god whenever i rmb that he took my mum away. But I also think he's the only way for us to get outta this painful life, tho i still cant fully accept what happened.

I might be a stranger to you, but know that I'm always here should u need a listening ear.  

[MissAlex]

Dear Phoenix-Kat,

I really feel for you. I lost my mom at the start of the pandemic and her birthday is the same week as Mother's Day, and I always get especially sad. Losing a parent is just so hard and the isolation I think we've all felt from the pandemic makes it so much harder to bear. I wish you healing and happiness.

[Daddys girl kw]

sorry for your loss … i hope u find peace in ur heart .. sending u positive energy and lots of love and peace 

[Phoenix-Kat]

Thank you all for reading and replying to my post. I really appreciate it. 
We’ve all lost someone we love dearly and life will never be the same again. 
I wish you tons of strength and lots of support in your life. 
I haven’t yet, but I will write letters to my dad once I’ve picked a nice notebook. I want to tell him what I couldn’t anymore before he passed away. I want him to know that he does not need to worry about me even though I am heartbroken and miss him so much. My dad is in a better place now and all that matters is that he is happy. He does not need to suffer anymore on earth.
Thanks to this forum I don’t feel alone. 

Thank you!