Store Destroyed by a Fire and Could Not Rebuild

[RoseBird]

Almost 13 years ago, my business burned down. Another store inside the mall had a natural occurrence which began the fire. The owner of the building did not have proper insurance and currently has not rebuilt. There were very few rental options at the time to rebuild my business and the rent was 6x the amount (landlords taking advantage of the short supply/high demand caused by the displaced businesses). I had a large space and none of the buildings were going to provide what I lost, or even come close. I loved what I did. I felt like I contributed to a positive society and personal growth of people, my staff and myself. I would say grateful affirmations every morning while I vacuumed the store because I was so happy to be doing something which had meaning and connection. When the store was "instantly" gone, I somehow disappeared with it. My identity was, and feels like it still is, too wrapped up in it and I am very numb to life now. I cannot seem to find purpose or even the motivation to start something new....after all, it could just be gone in an instant. I worked very hard over the years and sacrificed personal time in pursuit of a vision and worthwhile goals just to have all of that committed effort erased without notice and permanently. I worked there for 24 years and was the owner for 8. Yes, I was insured, but money isn't the only thing I lost (insurance did not cover blue sky, which I paid for when I bought the business). My little piece of heaven, my beautiful staff, business associates, fellow shop owners and a culture that I was part of was taken away by mother nature and the neglectful actions of a very sweet shop owner (who I could never be angry with for contributing to the spread of the fire and likely making it unstoppable). I am so sad. I have tried to engage in my new community (I moved) and I have volunteered for years in the hopes of reinventing myself and finding passion again, but I don't know what to do. Have tried psychologists. I'm still stuck. 

[reader]

Dear RoseBird,

I'm so sorry to hear what happened. It sounds like you're trying very hard to start over again. It's not easy and I often feel stuck too.

https://www.betterup.com/blog/feeling-stuck

https://psychcentral.com/blog/feeling-stuck-in-life-tips-to-move-forward#causes

Please know you are not alone. Many friends have told me to keep trying different things. Keep taking those baby steps. I know you'll get there.