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Multiple loss


jenn2192

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I’m new here, but am struggling. I lost my dad years ago who I was closest to. That loss hurt and changed me for years. I grew up with tough family dynamics and was always closest to him.

My 2 brothers passed within the past few months, both suddenly from illness 3 months apart. I was devastated and my mother who has always been difficult became even more difficult and our relationship ended because I had to protect myself. Now, my step dad told me that my mother is going into hospice and my grandmother is also Ill and dying. This is my entire family passing or having Passed.

I'm struggling horribly today. I live with my boyfriend who I have been with for over 5 years. I feel alone as he is not available to lean on so I’m facing all this alone.

any words of comfort, advice, books to read to help me would be appreciated 

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Hello Jenn,

I can only say how truly sorry I am that you are going through this. My one fear as the youngest in the family, is being left alone. It's such a frightening concept - to no longer have those relationships and a sense of family. It's a lot for anyone to take in and process. 

Do you have any sense of needing to see your mom at all or your grandmother before they pass? I can understand being hesitant if she (your mom) was a difficult person. Never beat yourself up for doing what you had to do to take care of yourself though. Many of us have had to move away from toxic relationships in our families. You do what you have to do to survive. 

Is your step-dad someone you can connect with or reach out to? Do you have any step siblings? 

It must be hard too, when you cant lean on your significant other for comfort. My husband was kind of the same after my mom died. He's a great guy but had never experienced any significant loss in his life. He couldn't understand my grief and probably felt helpless as to how to help me. Maybe its like that with your boyfriend? 

Anyway, feeling alone in your pain is very difficult and I hope you do find some comfort here. I write in a journal and I find that very therapeutic. Remember to take care of yourself during this very traumatic time. Xo 

 

 

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