Members Popular Post DWS Posted April 15, 2022 Members Popular Post Report Share Posted April 15, 2022 It's now past seven weeks since my partner Tom's sudden passing. The Easter holiday weekend will be the first big hurdle for me and many others here to get over. Easter and the early spring weather here in southwestern Ontario have always been a time of sweet joy. Nature is actively rebounding. Excitement and rejuvenation is in the air. My gardens are showing all of the new life. It's always my favourite time of year except this time around, I'm not able to join in on it with much ambition or smiles. During the short few years that we were together, Tom and I unintentionally developed an Easter tradition of giving each other a Lindt gold bunny. From there, it would be a contest to see who's bunny lasted the longest. I always won that contest by a mile and there'd be lots of laughs over it. So this year, I bought one to keep up the tradition. Easter greetings and warm hugs to all of us. How is everyone else coping during this time? 3 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Popular Post KayC Posted April 15, 2022 Moderators Popular Post Report Share Posted April 15, 2022 I love that you kept up the tradition, I'm diabetic so I'd win, LOL, I can't have sugar. I read a recipe for cadbury eggs, I always loved those but not sure I want to go to the effort this year. Right now all plans are up in the air as I'm snowed in, so I'm hoping I can drive to my son's (siix hour round trip) but will have to wait until Sunday to see. Never had snow this late and it's lasting over 1 1/2 weeks long! https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2015/11/coping-with-holidays-suggested.html 4 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Popular Post PLin Posted April 15, 2022 Members Popular Post Report Share Posted April 15, 2022 Don, How wonderful that you bought yourself a Lindt bunny! I am proud of you for keeping your tradition. Even though it is bittersweet it is still important. I haven't even thought to get a bunny for my grandsons who I am visiting on Sunday. (They're 15 & 11 so if I don't stop somewhere between my place and theirs they'll forgive me). Timmies has Easter donuts, they'd work! I spent today filing taxes for last year. I am SO proud of myself. I was always the one who looked after that job but this year it seemed overwhelming and monumental. I have been putting it off. Not sure what happened today but I just picked up my laptop and decided to do it. Now I am so relieved that one more difficult chore is complete. Ted died in January so I didn't have to tackle his final return this year. It is cold, windy and rainy in my part of Ontario but I still feel good about the taxes!! Love and hugs, Happy Easter, LIn 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Popular Post Sparky1 Posted April 15, 2022 Members Popular Post Report Share Posted April 15, 2022 We're having some nice spring weather here but brutal winds that make it actually a bit chilly. I haven't been feeling well the last little while , not covid thankfully, so been home all day. Hopefully I will be able to go to my MIL and spend Easter there. My stepson is bringing the 2 little ones ( 6 years and 6 months respectively). I got the older one a big set of three little chocolate owls and the little one is getting a little stuffed bunny rabbit. Of course it won't be the same or any easier without my wife there. She loved all the grandchildren with all her heart. The baby is starting to look like my wife so that is a blessing. 4 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Popular Post tnd Posted April 16, 2022 Members Popular Post Report Share Posted April 16, 2022 11 hours ago, DWS said: Tom and I unintentionally developed an Easter tradition of giving each other a Lindt gold bunny. From there, it would be a contest to see who's bunny lasted the longest. I always won that contest by a mile and there'd be lots of laughs over it. So this year, I bought one to keep up the tradition. That's great that you are keeping up the tradition! You should be glad to be able to do that on your own. I think it's a very good idea because it is something positive. I think any time any of us who are grieving can function and do something for ourselves will help us in the long run. Our grief may remain with us but maybe not our fragility or thoughts of being fragile. For you, the Lindt gold bunny conquered! 4 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Popular Post tnd Posted April 16, 2022 Members Popular Post Report Share Posted April 16, 2022 5 hours ago, PLin said: It is cold, windy and rainy in my part of Ontario but I still feel good about the taxes!! You SHOULD feel good about That! I am doing mine this weekend and I know it shouldn't be hard but I dread trying to focus on anything these days. I either get sleepy or start to feel agitated. I think or hope that once I start sleeping right again that I will be able to engage my brain. Lol. I'm glad you were able to focus and get something as important as filing taxes done. Gives me hope. You should reward yourself. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DWS Posted April 16, 2022 Author Members Report Share Posted April 16, 2022 7 hours ago, PLin said: I spent today filing taxes for last year. I am SO proud of myself. I was always the one who looked after that job but this year it seemed overwhelming and monumental. I have been putting it off. Not sure what happened today but I just picked up my laptop and decided to do it. Now I am so relieved that one more difficult chore is complete. Ted died in January so I didn't have to tackle his final return this year. That sounds like an achievement to be proud of....and hopefully it results in a good night's sleep for you! I'm certainly envious because I have yet to do mine. Tom was an independent accountant. This time of year was always his busiest couple of months and will forever now be a trigger for me every year. 1 hour ago, tnd said: I am doing mine this weekend and I know it shouldn't be hard but I dread trying to focus on anything these days. I either get sleepy or start to feel agitated. I never enjoy doing my tax form but this year, what I dread is re-visiting 2021 when everything was going just fine...other than coping with a pandemic, of course. All of the information that I'll be going through will have dates from each month which will remind me of what the two of us were doing at that time. All of them will be sweet and happy memories but things are still too raw to re-live them. It's going to be a real challenge. 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members KMkm Posted April 16, 2022 Members Report Share Posted April 16, 2022 Easter has been difficult. My wife was excited to hide eggs and treats. She had me hide the higher up ones..maybe that was just me giving the kids a challenge. Her friends came by with their kids yesterday for a get together and had a little hunt for eggs and a walk in the snow, it's still snowing up in northwestern ontario. My kids will be staying at my moms tonight for Easter tomorrow cause I probably would have just put the eggs in a pile and told them that the Easter bunny had covid and couldn't hide them. Hope everyone is staying strong. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members PLin Posted April 16, 2022 Members Report Share Posted April 16, 2022 There seem to be a few of us in Ontario. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted April 16, 2022 Moderators Report Share Posted April 16, 2022 19 hours ago, PLin said: I still feel good about the taxes!! Good for you! It's always a relief to have that behind us for another year! I don't remember the final tax return being difficult, so no worries. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Popular Post KayC Posted April 17, 2022 Moderators Popular Post Report Share Posted April 17, 2022 Thinking of each of you today...not sure what I'll do, my daughter hasn't been feeling well, it's a long 6 hour round trip to try to do myself when I'm exhausted from a hard week of shoveling snow and losing my sister less than 3 weeks ago. I feel like retreating from all of the demands I feel on me... 2 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DWS Posted April 17, 2022 Author Members Report Share Posted April 17, 2022 @KayCCertainly sounds like you need a day of peace and solace. Hopefully you have sunny skies there like we're having here this morning. The light dusting of snow we got overnight has disappeared. Tom's daughter sent me a couple of pics of her two young boys (Tom's grandsons) with their chocolate Easter egg loot they found around the house so that gave me a smile. That would have caused a bit of excitement there this morning. Tom lived with them over these last few years after his divorce and they've been missing him terribly...and I certainly do this morning as well. 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tnd Posted April 18, 2022 Members Report Share Posted April 18, 2022 On 4/15/2022 at 9:39 PM, DWS said: That sounds like an achievement to be proud of....and hopefully it results in a good night's sleep for you! I'm certainly envious because I have yet to do mine. Tom was an independent accountant. This time of year was always his busiest couple of months and will forever now be a trigger for me every year. I never enjoy doing my tax form but this year, what I dread is re-visiting 2021 when everything was going just fine...other than coping with a pandemic, of course. All of the information that I'll be going through will have dates from each month which will remind me of what the two of us were doing at that time. All of them will be sweet and happy memories but things are still too raw to re-live them. It's going to be a real challenge. I had a bit of sorrow when I did taxes today. Glad that's done with. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tnd Posted April 18, 2022 Members Report Share Posted April 18, 2022 19 hours ago, KayC said: I'm exhausted from a hard week Yes, you've certainly been thru a lot lately. Hope you take some time for yourself now. We aren't of much good without a rest. And stress eats up a body. It brings on inflammation and for someone like me, it's the kiss of death. With the kind of pain you experience, regular rest periods are crucial. Go on an escape with Kodie and recharge. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tnd Posted April 18, 2022 Members Report Share Posted April 18, 2022 Had a fairly nice day. Lots of BBQ and cake. Fran's grandkids were all dressed up real cute and squeeling over their Easter Baskets. I miss that. My Mom was still giving me and my brothers baskets all the way thru high school. Later on after she moved in with me, I surprised her with a big basket. Lots of chocolate of course and small gifts. Anyways, I ate pretty good today and only one fight broke out between Fran's sons. One has indeed been off drugs and behaves so much better but the other fell off the wagon and that's what they fought about. There's no escaping it, not even on Easter. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted April 18, 2022 Moderators Report Share Posted April 18, 2022 3 hours ago, tnd said: I surprised her with a big basket. We miss those interactions being alone all the time. Good thing we didn't drive up to my son's, they weren't there, they were at his in-law's, so we weren't invited. Talked to my daughter for an hour, tried to help her file her form for her divorce but website not working right, my friend (paralegal) is going to contact them today and try to do it herself. OMG I hope she can! Finally heard from my son for a few min. but interrupted too much to talk long, what you have with a busy family! I was invited to my granddaughter's bdy party Memorial day, 10 days after needing to be there to babysit the kids. Kodie and I didn't see anyone yesterday, just had a peaceful quiet day, nothing special to eat except I did make Avocado Brownies, so good! And the best part is they're totally healthy. Kodie and I got in an extra walk and a break from the ever-present shoveling! I would have gone to church had I known I wasn't going to Paul's and it wouldn't snow much. My daughter is also exhausted and needed that break. tnd, so glad you got your taxes done! It always feels good to get that behind for another year. I hope my daughter got hers done, forgot to ask. I guess you never quit worrying about your kids... 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators widower2 Posted April 19, 2022 Moderators Report Share Posted April 19, 2022 On 4/15/2022 at 9:21 AM, DWS said: It's now past seven weeks since my partner Tom's sudden passing. The Easter holiday weekend will be the first big hurdle for me and many others here to get over. Easter and the early spring weather here in southwestern Ontario have always been a time of sweet joy. Nature is actively rebounding. Excitement and rejuvenation is in the air. My gardens are showing all of the new life. It's always my favourite time of year except this time around, I'm not able to join in on it with much ambition or smiles. During the short few years that we were together, Tom and I unintentionally developed an Easter tradition of giving each other a Lindt gold bunny. From there, it would be a contest to see who's bunny lasted the longest. I always won that contest by a mile and there'd be lots of laughs over it. So this year, I bought one to keep up the tradition. Easter greetings and warm hugs to all of us. How is everyone else coping during this time? Hi, I hope you managed to survive that "first holiday" OK. Mine was Thanksgiving years ago. It was rough. Of course I won't say they're ever easy, but they do get easier over time, and I think that first one is the hardest, generally speaking. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DWS Posted April 19, 2022 Author Members Report Share Posted April 19, 2022 @widower2Thanks for the encouragement. I guess I made it through okay. It helped that my brother-in-law's sister dropped by for coffee and a visit on Good Friday. She lost her husband five years ago and has been a good source of support for me throughout this the minute she heard about my loss. We hadn't been in contact much with each other over the years but she knows the pain, turmoil and isolation that comes with this and felt the need to come to my rescue. It also helps her more with her recovery. 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted April 19, 2022 Moderators Report Share Posted April 19, 2022 @DWS I'm glad you had that visit with her! It helps to have someone who understands.. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators widower2 Posted April 20, 2022 Moderators Report Share Posted April 20, 2022 Yes, exactly. That's a win/win for sure. Great that you have each other as you both "get it." That is huge! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tnd Posted April 20, 2022 Members Report Share Posted April 20, 2022 15 hours ago, DWS said: helped that my brother-in-law's sister dropped by for coffee and a visit on Good Friday. She lost her husband five years ago and has been a good source of support for me throughout this That was very nice of her. I'd keep her on your Christmas card list. But seriously, hopefully she will continue to be there for you. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now