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New unofficial chat room (and a place to go if the site is down for any length of time)


widower2

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On 9/4/2022 at 11:44 PM, widower2 said:

I thought time zones were standard across countries, like "Eastern time" means a certain time zone regardless of where you are.

Not so. "Eastern time" in Europe is not the same as "Eastern time" in Canada. 😀.   Which is why I've come to use "Toronto time" in place of "Eastern" -- my other online connections are with Europe and Australia, so we talk "Amsterdam time / Toronto time / Sydney time", etc., to be sure that we're all on the same 'real time' time.

In any case. (Of  course) KayC got it right, right away -- I'm in Toronto, Ontario, Canada time zone. "Eastern time" only for the Americas.  Love and hugs all.  Ronni

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I have logged in several times and no ones ever there.  I don't have a specific vulnerable time.  But I do have them often. I thought about John earlier today. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I cried myself to sleep woke up cried myself back to sleep and have been up with my mind going stupid ever since and I AM on my meds. Oh God please someone help me. I have been writing books on threads in here just ranting and going on and on and I know repeating myself over and over again. I'm lost. I'm lonely. I'm scared. It's been right over six mths and dear God it feels like it was this morning I found him but it seems like a lifetime without him

 

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I'll pop over there now. (Everyone knows that we can see who is online here, whenever we are logged-in here.)   So, I can say -- and am saying --  that it's now 6PM Toronto (Ontario, Canada) time...but I also do know that people who are currently logged-in here don't really (AT ALL) need me to say any/all of that. They can see it by the 'notifications' that they are getting right now, in 'real time', in their own time zone, whatever continent on which they are logging-in from. In any case, going to log-in at 'chatzy', now.

(I have noticed that people are still not comfortable to try it. That is okay, also. Of course that is okay, also.)

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9 hours ago, KayC said:

Keping it open so if we are unable to come here we can there.

Course if you don't bookmark it, you won't be able to get to it if this site is down :)  

Again if folks are going to the chat room, I suggest posting so on this thread, so folks will know, gives a much better chance of someone else going there vs just hoping someone is randomly going to pop in at the exact same time. Also you can stay logged in there and if someone pops in and says something, it will show up as a number in parentheses in the browser tab, so you can keep an eye on that. 

And I'm heading over now for a bit FWIW

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Update, Kelly told me they are working on a new and improved chat feature for the site (not this one) - stay tuned! 

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<Bump>.

Yeah...I didn't understand KayC;s other post (in a different thread, I think?) about the updates to this site that are in the offing.  I do know that I've reported spam a couple of weeks ago, and the spam posts were still there yesterday -- I haven't checked today.

Anyway. Going to check-in at 'chatzy'.

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I was just relaying what Kelly said.  She wanted us to not be surprised when we see their "sister sites" reflected here, I haven't noticed anything either.

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On 9/28/2022 at 7:34 AM, KayC said:

I was just relaying what Kelly said.  She wanted us to not be surprised when we see their "sister sites" reflected here, I haven't noticed anything either.

Yes, that's exactly it. If Kelly doesn't want us to be surprised by something, then she needs to do a much better job of of 'messaging' (marketing) it to all of the rest of us here, ahead of time. IMHO. (Not everyone who lands on this site. or logs in here. reads the 'loss of a partner' sub-forum.) it ought not be just left to a faithful member, to relay such types of important messages, is what I'm saying.

(I get that maybe they don't have any volunteer moderators -- but then they also need to be actively advertising ON THIS SITE, in all sub-forums, for people to volunteer.)  But, for but one example (and user pet peeve, to be honest): Leaving spam on a site for this long...simply does not generate any level of confidence in the site. If they want to grow the site, then they'll need to put in some effort. (I get life and time constraints and limitations.)

Also. <Bump>. Going to log-in over at 'chatzy' in about 2 or 5 minutes.

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Hey Dragonfly looks like I just missed you :)  I am on for awhile FWIW 

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10 hours ago, KayC said:

I never hit it when others do, my schedule is backwards from others!

Hi KayC...yep! <LOL>. For me, I can see when others have logged-in, even if days prior, but haven't seen you there yet.      One of these days...fingers crossed!        In the meantime, love and hugs and all goods things to you and yours.  Ronni

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Oh my goodness...it's like a 'miracle'! <grin>.     KayC, all-of-a-sudden I'm 'seeing' you over there (not 'live' but at least its now showing your earlier log-in...so sorry to have missed you. ☹️.

I'm over there now, (9:10PM Toronto, Canada time) Will stay for 5 or so minutes. (I know what time mine is, in Amsterdam, London, Sydney and Cape Town; but doesn't make much sense for me to type a zillion cities/time zones. Figuring it's easier for all concerned, for others to just individually Google theirs, based on mine, to know if our 'earth clocks are aligning.)

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It can also be a quite 'triggering' experience, depending on our own strengths and weaknesses at the time that we log-in -- and also depending on how the conversation proceeds. The other person isn't looking to trigger us, but then we just have to be very 'light-hearted' and self-confident, if they do get triggered. (It's happened to me a couple of times now, where the convo just went totally sideways. Just go back, in an hour or a week or two {however you're comfortable}, and try again. No matter how 'sensitive' you try to be, the other, or others, can still get triggered. It's on them, not on you)

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12 hours ago, Ronni_W said:

Hi KayC...yep! <LOL>. For me, I can see when others have logged-in, even if days prior, but haven't seen you there yet.      One of these days...fingers crossed!        In the meantime, love and hugs and all goods things to you and yours.  Ronni

My logging in was clocked in there in pink but notice it all disappeared last time I was there, yesterday!

 

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On 10/6/2022 at 7:35 AM, KayC said:

My logging in was clocked in there in pink but notice it all disappeared last time I was there, yesterday

Yep...I noticed that. How did you get it to change to pink?  (At the same time, over there, not everyone gets 'disappeared' in just a day. BUT I do also realize that it has nothing at all to do with this site -- it's on that side, over there.)

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On 10/6/2022 at 7:35 AM, KayC said:

My logging in was clocked in there in pink but notice it all disappeared last time I was there, yesterday

? I show that you logged in on the 6th...

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I've logged in many times, it no longer shows, it used to.  No longer showing any of them as of right now.

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? I show you signed on at 7:50 today (good gravy! I think that's 4:50 AM your time??). 

I hope to catch you on there at some point but I can guarantee it will never be 4:50 AM  ;) Or even 7:50 AM. So not a morning person! 

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Haha, yeah, I'm usually up at 2 to 3 am...LOL!  I love the quiet of the early mornings.

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ah, got ya. I am often up that late too actually. If only we were in the same time zone. :) Still hope to catch you some time though! 

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Thanks, KayC, for your time and trouble. I will look for that option, next time. Yes, you're also accurate that the prior log-ins don't stay forever...I  don't know it it clears "by page" or by date/time -- not important at all, really. I'm also keeping really odd hours these days...perhaps, given our individual 'oddities' and time zones, we'll catch up over there (and hopefully sooner than later.)  Hoping that all's not too bad on your side, KayC, all other things taken into consideration. Love and hugs, R.

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I wonder if we're talking about the same thing? When you log on, two things happen:

1. Your name appears in the chat window (as it does again every time you say something) 
2. Your name appears in the upper right (not in the main chat window) to show you're either logged in or were logged in recently

The first one stays until enough lines of text go by that it drops off at the very top. The second one turns the background gray after you've exited the page recently, and after enough additional time passes, disappears completely.

Does that help? 

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<Bump>.

That site shows who is "currently online" -- the exact same as this site does. (At 'chatzy', I recently posted to someone who was clearly shown as being online at the time, but who then promptly signed out! I didn't take it personally, though. <LOL>.)

Over at chatzy, it also did appear to me that the "live-chat window" does only 'keep' log-in info and 'chat text' only for the 'space/time' of a "full page of text". (If this makes sense...but I think it is what you're also saying, widower2.)

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Yes, except for the part about who's online...when you log out or exit the page, it doesn't show you offline right away, there's a delay.

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True enough...the page needs to be 'refreshed' (before the list of current, active, online users will be up-to-the-second accurate), and I have no idea what the 'automatic refresh rate' is, over there. (The incident I spoke about, I was aware of this 'time lapse', and did manually do the appropriate 'refreshing', before I came to the conclusion that I reached.) But, and nevertheless, true enough!

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widower2, sorry about that! I was (and still am) logged in over there, and see you were there 5 minutes ago. I was typing/responding to a post over here, so missed your post over there. Sorry.

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widower2, we seem to be online at very the same times.

However, how I've interpreted our prior 3 or 4 interactions -- wrong as I may be or probably am -- is that I end up 'triggering' you in ways that I don't want and you don't need. Am I accurate in this?

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22 hours ago, widower2 said:

? I haven't noticed that we were on at the same time per se. 

Somebody else told me a similar thing -- to do with him helping me set-up my new 'computer home network' over here; so nothing at all do to with loss and grief and how we cope with our loss and grief and grieving...          To the effect of that trying to 'gaslight' me doesn't work. (He and I were having a very hearty laugh about it -- at least, I sure was laughing about it -- about my memory functioning versus his.)

So, thanks for making me laugh, widower2.That is, I'm laughing remembering my other conversation; the guy wasn't aware of this whole dynamic between he and I, until I brought it up. (People can be so clueless about how much they're lacking self-awareness. I'm also clueless about my own, but not about my memory functioning. <LOL>.)

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On 11/22/2022 at 10:58 PM, widower2 said:

? I haven't noticed that we were on at the same time per se. 

Unless I am truly insane...it just happened within the past 5/10 minutes. You were there when I logged in (as reported by Chatzy, so none of us can fake it.)

I said my version of 'hi', and you logged out without any interaction. You truly don't remember or didn't notice this??? (Or, think I don't have "moxie"?)

A few days later: EDITED TO ADD:  Don't worry about it. Just my own misuse of my own moxie, (perhaps?) (See other thread about "moxie".)

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<Bump>. This 'chatzy' link is still a good place to try to connect with others "in real time". (As an aside, then 'Google' reported that "gaslight/gaslighting" is its most searched-for word for the recent period on which it is reporting. Weird. Weird? Metaphysically "weird"???)

(It's okay to not take ourselves too seriously, is the 'Message from the Universe/Cosmology', that I'm getting. Anyone else getting this same 'vibe'?  Oh, just <LOL>.)   Ronni

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Tried inserting an emoticon in Chatzy to see if it'd stay, no one ever sees when I'm there, I guess my schedule is vastly different from everyone elses!

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KayC, I do see that you were there recently. The chatzy time-stamp shows "7:44" (but not if it's AM or PM), and also does not show the day/date. (Your post here on this site is time-stamped 5-Dec-2022; 7:46AM, so I guess we can assume that the chatzy site and this site are at least showing the same day/date and time zone. Also and plus, though, I am aware of the platitude/cliche about when we assume... 'ass-u-me'. 😄.)

Usually if I am up at that early time in the morning, I don't log-in to chatzy...still groggily feeling my way around to put up some coffee for myself. I'll try to keep it in mind, though, for future; but then also, my 'day' usually starts around Noon Toronto/New York time. I think I'm on 'EST' right now (American EST), but I go by cities rather than time zones.

One of these days, KayC...one of these days we will catch each other over there at chatzy! Yeah?  Love'n hugs,  R

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If it's 7:44 it's am, but more likely that is their time and not mine, I'm usually on here 3-4 am.

 

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