its been two years, when does the grieving stop?

[tiredmama]

Its been two years since my father past away in 2020, just six months after my Grandmother. When my Father past I was a wreck for months and at some point I just stopped crying, I think I thought I was getting back to normal but its now been near two years and I've realized that the care free spark of joy in my life never came back. 

I have a husband and three children and at home and I am usually just blah, short tempered, unmotivated and everything just always seems hard. I respond to most things with lack luster or feigned happiness. If we go on an outing I usually dont have the energy to go and once there I am waiting to leave. I am trying to run a home business and raise a family while my husband is frequently away for weeks/months in the military. I have felt that I was just overwhelmed and tired, that my children were at stages in their life that were just "work" and it would pass. But now I think that my grief has morphed into a well of depression and I don't know how to get out.
 

 

[Traz]

On 3/31/2022 at 11:15 AM, tiredmama said:

Its been two years since my father past away in 2020, just six months after my Grandmother. When my Father past I was a wreck for months and at some point I just stopped crying, I think I thought I was getting back to normal but its now been near two years and I've realized that the care free spark of joy in my life never came back. 

I have a husband and three children and at home and I am usually just blah, short tempered, unmotivated and everything just always seems hard. I respond to most things with lack luster or feigned happiness. If we go on an outing I usually dont have the energy to go and once there I am waiting to leave. I am trying to run a home business and raise a family while my husband is frequently away for weeks/months in the military. I have felt that I was just overwhelmed and tired, that my children were at stages in their life that were just "work" and it would pass. But now I think that my grief has morphed into a well of depression and I don't know how to get out.
 

 

Oh tiredmama, 

Your nickname sounds very appropriate ♡ You are one tired, stressed out mom who is carrying a huge load of stress and responsibility. Not to mention grief as well. I'm so sorry about your Dad and grandmother. 

It sounds like you need to have some self-care in your routine which is badly needed. Is there anyone in your life who could help out now and then so you have a break? I can't imagine all that you have to do while your husband is away. Have you thought about talking to your healthcare provider? Would your husband have insurance that would help with the cost of some grief counselling? I'm two and a half years into my grief journey over my mom and there are still many moments of deep pain. Both of my kids moved back home - bless them but its stressful. The pandemic has just compounded the misery for everyone. 

I feel for you and your situation. I hope you can find the support you need and a way to get back to your spark. ♡

 

[teaav]

On 3/31/2022 at 5:15 PM, tiredmama said:

Its been two years since my father past away in 2020, just six months after my Grandmother. When my Father past I was a wreck for months and at some point I just stopped crying, I think I thought I was getting back to normal but its now been near two years and I've realized that the care free spark of joy in my life never came back. 

I have a husband and three children and at home and I am usually just blah, short tempered, unmotivated and everything just always seems hard. I respond to most things with lack luster or feigned happiness. If we go on an outing I usually dont have the energy to go and once there I am waiting to leave. I am trying to run a home business and raise a family while my husband is frequently away for weeks/months in the military. I have felt that I was just overwhelmed and tired, that my children were at stages in their life that were just "work" and it would pass. But now I think that my grief has morphed into a well of depression and I don't know how to get out.
 

 

Dear tiredmama,

I am so sorry for your loss. 💗 I am sending you hugs. I hope you are able to seek help and get some time for yourself and self-care. 💗

In my experience, the grieving doesn't stop, but gets easier to live with. It kind of becomes a part of you, as your dad and grandma are. It will be okay 🌷

I wish you the best 💗🌺

[Tharm04]

Grief is long and hard. Talked with my therapist and in cases of complex grief (like multiple deaths or traumatic death) the process can last 4-5 years. This is normal. My therapist recommended learning as much as I could about grief to understand the process and that these feelings are normal. Its been two years for me and it feels like an eternity and one day all at the same time. 

 

What Im really getting at is, take your time. Feel your feelings, its totally normal. Learn about the process and give yourself grace.