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Recently Removed by Mother's Feeding Tube


VelvetRoomAttendant

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VelvetRoomAttendant

As the title says, a few weeke ago, I made the difficult decision to remove my mother's feeding tube and have her put on hospice. Over the past few years, she has had multiple strokes that have left her completely paralyzed on one side and bed ridden. She has no quality of life and was choosing not to eat orally.

It's been overwhelming to say the least. Her nursing home fought me on removing the tube at first because she's young. I'm an only child so all decisions fall on me.

I just feel like I'm going to through all of the stages of grief over and over. It took a lot to realize removing the tube was the right option. Then hospice originally told me she only had a few days and to say final goodbyes and start funeral planning.  Now a few weeks later she's rallied a bit. I feel I finally accept losing her and it keeps getting extended. Because of her significant brain damage, she's not even the same person anymore. I don't feel like I'm seeing my mom, just a stranger.

I feel overwhelmed and depressed quite often. I tried therapy, but it did not seem to be helpful. I feel like I cannot get out of this bad place and I know it will be worse once she passes.

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Dear VelvetRoom,

I am sorry for everything you've gone through. It's hard being responsible for all your parent's medical care. We all do the best we can. I wanted to suggest visiting Aging Care and I think you'll find more support. So many adult children have gone through similar experiences and will be able to offer more emotional support during this sad and difficult time.

Sending all my thoughts and prayers.

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