Would you like to share your story?

[kali shey]

I am in the process of writing a book about loss and grief. After my father's death, I was surprised by the responses I got from people about death, both from those who had been through loss and those who had not. I also found that, not being a religious person, there was not a lot of help in the books currently available about grief, and that the anger that comes with it is often swept under the rug. It makes people uncomfortable, and therefore, it is not encouraged or allowed to be fully expressed so much of the time, and I believe it is a very important part of the grieving process.

Part of my book is going to consist of stories from others and how they have handled their grief. I am really looking for honest stuff here, not necessarily the most uplifting or 'politically correct' stuff, because all that stuff has been written, over and over again. Grief is maddening, suffocating, and hellish, and I think that needs to be honestly represented so that when people are feeling those emotions they won't feel so alone.

If anyone would like to share their stories, please feel free to email me at kali_shey@me.com - you can send them anonymously or with your name (you can also specify the use of only a first name, and/or location or even just your email address if you'd like and I will respect your wishes for privacy). I do not believe there are any 'wrong' ways to feel in this situation - I think many people feel alone because some of the less 'positive' feelings (anger, guilt, etc.) are not openly expressed.

Although I am writing this book, it isn't only my story that I want represented, because grief and loss are everywhere. In my situation, I have lost a parent, but I do not want this book to be about that alone. Grief is an entity all its own and it takes many forms. I hope some of you will feel comfortable sharing your thoughts, stories and feelings with me in an attempt to help others weave their way through this (seemingly never ending) maze.

[stillfighting431]

Hi,

You're right while 90% of the population turns to god in their grief,where do the rest 10% of us non religious people go.Only option left is to talk to someone like minded & sympathetic.Such friends are hard to find.You're right about anger too.Most of the people talk about depression,anxiety even gulit but anger is deemed unacceptable.WHY ? It is one of the "accepted" 5 steps of grieving yet people are so hesitant to talk about it,makes them uncomfortable to even listen about it.Well,I'm not .I'm angry at the doctors for not diagnosing mom in time,angry for not helping her in the end,angry for giving us false hope till the end,angry at my mom for leaving me,angry at my dad for having a nervous breakdown & not being there for us when we needed him the most,angry at my relatives for popping up after her death,like mushrooms after a rainy day,preaching what could've & should've been done instead of being there to lend a hand when she was struggling in the hospital & I'm angry at the universe for taking away the most precious thing to me in this world.Somedays I go through all the 5 steps from the time I wake up to the time I go to bed at night,yet there are days I feel I'm still stuck at 'disbelief'.I've accepted that I'll always miss her & cry for her.

I think writing a book about this is a great idea & could help countless others going through the same.You already know about me & my story from all my posts here.You can use it however you see fit,if it's worthy of your book.Ask me whatever details you need to know.Just leave my email out,I'm upto my eyeballs in spam already.

[barb ernst]

I hear you..I am a non-religious person whom is sick and tired of hearing about praying for everything during my greiving process. I don't want to hear "I will pray for you" please don't..I'm not an angry person or bitter that both of my parents are gone now..Life goes on ..I get it..I know there is something better out there for us and is there really a heaven..is that where my parents are? I'm not sure if that is so..Touchy subject that is..LOL..I will get off my soap box now..Thanks! Barb

[Guest DarkHeart]

I am in the process of writing a book about loss and grief. After my father's death, I was surprised by the responses I got from people about death, both from those who had been through loss and those who had not. I also found that, not being a religious person, there was not a lot of help in the books currently available about grief, and that the anger that comes with it is often swept under the rug. It makes people uncomfortable, and therefore, it is not encouraged or allowed to be fully expressed so much of the time, and I believe it is a very important part of the grieving process.

Part of my book is going to consist of stories from others and how they have handled their grief. I am really looking for honest stuff here, not necessarily the most uplifting or 'politically correct' stuff, because all that stuff has been written, over and over again. Grief is maddening, suffocating, and hellish, and I think that needs to be honestly represented so that when people are feeling those emotions they won't feel so alone.

If anyone would like to share their stories, please feel free to email me at kali_shey@me.com - you can send them anonymously or with your name (you can also specify the use of only a first name, and/or location or even just your email address if you'd like and I will respect your wishes for privacy). I do not believe there are any 'wrong' ways to feel in this situation - I think many people feel alone because some of the less 'positive' feelings (anger, guilt, etc.) are not openly expressed.

Although I am writing this book, it isn't only my story that I want represented, because grief and loss are everywhere. In my situation, I have lost a parent, but I do not want this book to be about that alone. Grief is an entity all its own and it takes many forms. I hope some of you will feel comfortable sharing your thoughts, stories and feelings with me in an attempt to help others weave their way through this (seemingly never ending) maze.

Hi Kali, I read your post ~ I agree 100% with you on the *non-religious* people who are trying to cope with grief & bereavement having less options on where to turn. I label myself an Agnostic Pagan, because I have no idea whether or not there are any gods, goddesses, demons, angels, ghosts, etc for that matter, but I have always had a strong connection with the occult, I just do not *worship* any entities. I don't know if my input would be any use to you, but feel free to read my posts here, and I will definitely consider contacting you with my story of loss. My mother died last year on Black Friday 4 months after being diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. I am dealing with her death through art, mainly. I haven't turned to paranormal techniques, yet, but I may in the future. I hope you are doing well yourself & wish you peace through the craziness of the upcoming holiday season (which I am dreading, for one). Take care.