The physical

[BBB]

Like I have said here, lately the first year has been easier than the second. Not sure if you are still numb in year 1 and reality hits in year 2 but this seems to be a common theme and has been that way for me. What I have noticed is that while my emotional pain has increased, so has my physical. All of a sudden, small ailments are very pronounced and now new ailments have popped up. I wondered if there was a correlation and when I googled it, the answer would seem to be a resounding yes. Curious if this has happened to people here?

 

[LMR]

Same for me and I hadn't had so much as a cold in years. I broke my wrist at around six months but the rest of that year I had no other physical problems. In the last six months I have twice had really bad colds, I have a recurring ear infection that just won't go away, I have injured my knee on two separate occasions (still hobbling) and I have lost a filling in my tooth. I have no energy either.

I don't know if it's the stress or if it's because I don't really care anymore.

[BBB]

3 minutes ago, LMR said:

Same for me and I hadn't had so much as a cold in years. I broke my wrist at around six months but the rest of that year I had no other physical problems. In the last six months I have twice had really bad colds, I have a recurring ear infection that just won't go away, I have injured my knee on two separate occasions (still hobbling) and I have lost a filling in my tooth. I have no energy either.

I don't know if it's the stress or if it's because I don't really care anymore.

I think it's both but for sure stress will affect the physical

[Sparky1]

I think after my wife passed away that a lot of aches and pains have gotten worse. Bad knees, bad back, both shoulders, hip pain, constant neck pain, a recurring tooth problem even after a root canal and crown. These are the major ones, the little ones are tolerable. I also think that stress does cause physical and emotional  problems, but how are we supposed to avoid the stress of grief? 

[KMkm]

The pain I feel is mostly in head. I have a lot of pressure and sometimes pain in thr front of my head.  I feel like my eyes are barely open.  My chest has been bothering me lately and especially the pressure I feel in my chest.  I had covid a month ago and I still feel like my lungs are still messed up.  Plus I don't have any energy.  I find myself enjoying the physical pain so I don't focus on my emotional pain as much.  I hope that I can get back to work at some point but for the time being I guess I have to figure out how to heal.  

[KayC]

On 3/19/2022 at 7:22 AM, BBB said:

lately the first year has been easier than the second

That is very common in grief!  In the beginning we're in shock, we have some support, we have things to tend to like death cert., soc. sec. office, funeral, switching titles, etc.  The second year, people are telling us to move on and are back to their lives and we're left with the ghost of a shell trying to figure out how to do this, and with our broken heart...

Physical Grief Symptoms Whats your Grief
Physical Reactions to Loss

[Gail 8588]

BBB, 

I think our tendency to not take care of ourselves after we lose our soulmates contributes to an increase in ailments in the years that follow.  My teeth suffered from the lack of normal dental cleanings and exams.  Poor nutrition, lack of exercise, take a toll.  Foggy thinking, lack of attention, contribute to minor accidents. It all adds up to feeling like everything is falling apart. 

I didn't get a flu shot for several years after John died, whereas prior to his death we always got annual flu vaccinations.  Then when I would catch the flu. I would feel so alone, abandoned, miserable, missing John even more as he wasn't there to care for me. 

It's a miserable cycle.  

It's easy to tell new grievers to take care of themselves, but I know too well that feeling that nothing matters. There is no point in taking care of yourself when all you want to do is die.  But the reality is, we don't die and life would be better, less painful, if we would take care of ourselves.

This is just my theory on why so many of us have an increase in physical illnesses and injuries while grieving.  Or at least it contributes to some of our ailments. 

Gail

 

[DMB]

I think it's important to know if your physical symptoms are from emotional stress/grief or if it's something else.  Also, as Gail mentions it could be we just don't care to take as good of care of ourselves.  My experience was around month 9 I had ringing in my ear,  nagging daily headaches, and was sensitive to loud noise. After a couple of weeks of this I called my Doc and was started on an anti-depressant.  Low dose, and the symptoms went away.  I will probably never stop this medication.

Another problem I had was with swallowing.  I would sometimes get food stuck and it would come back up if it didn't go down.  This was happening more often after my husbands passing so I wonder if the grief contributed.  Last summer I ended up in the ER with food impaction and had an upper endoscopy.  It was miserable and then I was introduced to yet another Doc-a GI.    I just had another endoscopy to correct the problem, the practice is so busy it only took 7 months!  

I go back and forth with trying to keep up with my health, to not caring since I know one day something is going to show up that won't be able to get fixed.  Having had a cancer, it sometimes feels like there is always a test or appointment of some sort which brings further anxiety.  I go to the dentist next week for "restoration"  taking out some old metal fillings and refilling so stop the decay, hopefully.  I purposely am not going to any doc or lab for the month of April in an effort to lessen my health anxiety.  

Sorry to carry on, I wish you well in finding a remedy for your new ailments.

[KayC]

14 hours ago, Gail 8588 said:

It's easy to tell new grievers to take care of themselves, but I know too well that feeling that nothing matters. There is no point in taking care of yourself when all you want to do is die.  But the reality is, we don't die and life would be better, less painful, if we would take care of ourselves.

Exactly.
 

 

3 minutes ago, DMB said:

I think it's important to know if your physical symptoms are from emotional stress/grief or if it's something else.

Yes!  Such as mentioned in this article on depression in grief:
Depression vs symptomatic depression in grief