My gentle boy is gone

[Maria_PI]

Here I am sitting in the void… lost for words to describe how I feel finding my cat lying cold and stiff on the carpet in the bedroom, in the same place I left him when I went out for my Sunday afternoon stroll on the beach. Before I left I told him to sleep well and be a good boy and I would be back soon, as always. R.I.P. my Tuxi boy, beautiful gentle soul, the most loving, peaceful, forgiving, graceful cat to ever exist! I don’t know what happened, I only hope he went in his sleep without pain. He had just gone through his annual check up and vaccine two weeks ago, other than the arthritis and chronic rhinitis which we maintained reasonably well, nothing seemed to point to a near end. I wasn’t prepared for this loss. He was my consolation after my husband passed almost two years ago, call me crazy but I thought my husband’s soul lived in Tuxi for a while, just to keep me company. The two were best buddies, my husband would leave voice mail for him when we were away for a few days just to reassure him we were not abandoning him. Even though I was the one who adopted Tux, or should I say he adopted me because the moment I stepped in the room where he and another kitty were kept, he came rubbing himself against me, and that was Valentine’s Day 2014. The shelter had him as 4 at the time but the vet said they probably underestimated his age. In any case, I am so blessed to have had him around for those 8 years. Go and be with my Love up in Heaven, beautiful soul! I shall find you both there one day!

[foreverhis]

This is heartbreaking.  I'm so sorry you lost your sweet companion.  No, I don't think it's crazy that you thought your husband's soul might have lived in Tuxi for a while.  I would probably think of it more as that your husband was with Tuxi helping him to help you and that you would have felt that, but who knows.  What matters is that it helped you.  I'll be sending you hugs from the opposite coast tonight.((HUGS))

[KayC]

@Maria_PI  I am so sorry.  It must have been quite a shock to find him when you'd just had his healthy exam!  Same happened to me with Arlie, only with him it was inoperable cancer diagnosis and his liver shutting down...too late for anything...how can they get a clean bill of health just two weeks before?  They must not have done blood tests, maybe they would have found something but it wouldn't have likely made a difference in the outcome.  There is no preparing for this.  Our hearts go out to you, hard enough to do without the person who was the world to us, but so hard to lose our furry companions on top of it.  I remember crying out to God, "Can't I keep ANYTHING!!!"  No answer.  I guess all I get to keep is God, everyone else is temporal. I hope it helps you to know you'll be with him again, it helps me.  Hang onto that hope/faith.\

Comfort for Grieving Animal Lovers

 

[Maria_PI]

Thank you both for the kind words! Kay, I was just thinking last night, why are all the souls I love the most leaving me?! Can’t I keep anything? Just like you said. First my dad, then my husband and now my most special cat! Almost makes me not want to get too close to anyone ever again from fear of losing them. Maybe with time I will get the courage.

I’ve decided to cremate my Tuxi and place him next to my Love, that way they will be together again, like the best friends they were.

[foreverhis]

2 hours ago, Maria_PI said:

I’ve decided to cremate my Tuxi and place him next to my Love, that way they will be together again, like the best friends they were.

I have faith that they are together again and that some day, when it's your time, you will join them.  I take a small measure of comfort in believing that my John was greeted at the Rainbow Bridge by our two most special fur babies, Charlie Bear and Penny.  Sometimes it gets me through my darkest hours.

You are in my thoughts tonight.((HUGS))

[KayC]

12 hours ago, Maria_PI said:

Almost makes me not want to get too close to anyone ever again from fear of losing them.

My best friend displayed this same concern seven years ago when she was contemplating remarrying or not, a few years after her husband died.  I knew they loved each other but she was afraid of taking that leap and going through this all over again.

I told her to make her choices out of love not fear.  She made the leap, moved to TX and they got married...they are very happy together.  If she had said no to that love, she would have missed out on so much in life!  If her worst fear comes to pass, she can at least console herself with the knowledge that they gave it their best and enjoyed it to the fullest.  Had she followed fear as her guide, she'd have wondered what they could have had, she would have missed so much.

I'm glad I gave her that advice (and so are they) even though it cost me my friend living here and getting to see her and do things with her.  I'd rather she be happy.