Can’t Stop Crying….Alone

[TearsX2]

Hi,

I’m new here, feeling so alone and utterly destroyed. I’ve spent the last 2 days in agony…..

 

[TearsX2]

Why do people view your message and not reply?? That def adds to my sadness 

[reader]

 Dear Tears,

I am sorry for the lack of replies even though there have been some views on the post. I think mostly it’s because people don’t know what to say or they are worried about saying the wrong thing and causing more harm and grief.

Please know we are here to listen and offer any support we can. I’m so sorry to hear how you are feeling. I know it’s not easy when you’re feeling so raw. 

[ADM925]

18 hours ago, TearsX2 said:

feeling so alone and utterly destroyed.

I don't want to hurt or make you feel worse but this is exactly how and where I am and cannot take it anymore.  My mother was my entire life and world and I her only son am old and always very nervous and have nobody else, only acquaintances who say get over it already, which I can't because she was my sole refuge and being without her is a frightening, excruciating anguish that never stops.  I wish I had practical advice to give you but it is so bad for me right now that I only hope for some kind of miracle for people like us; it seems the only escape (other than end of my own life) from an agony so unrelenting and unendurable . . .  I am here to listen for whatever it is worth

Edited March 5, 2022 by ADM925
Clarification

[Lost now]

15 hours ago, TearsX2 said:

Hi,

I’m new here, feeling so alone and utterly destroyed. I’ve spent the last 2 days in agony…..

 

I am going through the same. The pain is unbearable. I can't harm myself but will happily welcome my death because this suffering is beyond I can handle

[ESM]

12 hours ago, Lost now said:

I can't harm myself but will happily welcome my death because this suffering is beyond I can handle

Same here. You're not alone My mom passed 4 months ago and it gets worse each day

[Lost now]

1 hour ago, ESM said:

Same here. You're not alone My mom passed 4 months ago and it gets worse each day

And no one understands when I tell them I can't live without my mom. So sorry for your loss and the pain you are going through..

[Lost now]

6 hours ago, ESM said:

Same here. You're not alone My mom passed 4 months ago and it gets worse each day

Im scared to live my remaining life without her. 

[ADM925]

18 hours ago, Lost now said:

And no one understands when I tell them I can't live without my mom.

Now they are saying "You have no choice, get used to it", which is jarring and only makes it worse to go home alone.

12 hours ago, Lost now said:

I'm scared to live my remaining life without her. 

I dread the rest of my life without the only person I love and who can comfort me.  I talk to her pictures and pray for a response.  There are some happy dreams but more nightmares.  And the happy dreams seem so real I think she's with me again until waking up in shock alone.  Can't take any more of this.   

[Bhipa]

I totally understand what you are saying. I am devastated having lost my dad. I cry when alone, I try and put up brave face for my sisters and mom. I wish no one to be in this kind of situation but I know it is inevitable for everyone.

[MomsLovingSon]

Crying's okay, it's needed. I've done it a lot in the days since my mom died and I expect a lot more of it for a long time. Today actually I haven't, but I know that tomorrow (the day of the funeral) there will be lots and lots. No idea if you'll be back here to see my post, @TearsX2, but you've probably already stopped crying as much but I'm sure you still do. It's always going to be hard on all of us who've lost.

[Traz]

I feel in my heart, for each person's devastating loss here. It is even more complex and crushing for those who don't have outside friends or family to help them cope or to share in their loss. I wish I could help more ♡

Adm925, I'm worried about you. Do you have a family doctor you could reach out to? He/she might have some resources you could look into. There is a reason you and everyone else, is here on this earth. You can give your life purpose and honour your mom at the same time. It is never too late to start forming new relationships, interests, hobbies etc. I realise you're probably not in a place to do that yet, but you do have some choices. Have you ever thought about getting a support dog? My sister lives alone and her dog has been her saviour during the dark times. You can put your pain into something positive, by caring for and nurturing an animal. (if you like them that is It could give you something else to focus on. Dogs are great for meeting other people too. Just a few suggestions coming from a place of caring. 

[BeThePond]

It's ok to not be ok. Cry as many tears as you need to cry. Learn to experience and accept all of your intense feelings of sadness, anger, worry, joy, and any other feeling you are having. Please don't put your Self down for having feelings. You are allowed to be sad and you are allowed to cry for as long as you need to cry. Go to the bathroom and look in the mirror and tell yourself how unbelievably strong you are and that you are allowed to be sad or angry or excited for all long as you need to be and at anytime you need to be. Now tell you that you Love You so much and thank yourself for being such a strong person. You are the strongest person you have ever met. It's ok to not be ok! 

 

Love You! Yes, YOU. Love YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Eric S]

On 3/6/2022 at 7:48 AM, Lost now said:

Im scared to live my remaining life without her. 

Adm925 I'm in the same place as you, except it's with my father. He's been living with me for over a decade and he's the only family member I talk to. His passing has me feeling completely alone in the world even when surrounded by others. I pray for us both to do what needs to be done to live a happy healthy life.