It's been a long time

[kyle2188]

Hi everyone,

I've never done anything like this before so i thought i would give it a try.  You'd think after 13 years it would be a distant memory but on the days it hits me it feels like it was just yesterday

Its been 13 years as of march 1st.  I was 21 years old at the time.  My older brother was diagnosed with a brain tumor and and passed away within 9 months at the age of 22.  It was fast and slow all at the same time.  Slow because it fealt like he had to agonize for a long time slowly decaying.  And fast because I had no doubt in my mind we would have more time.  I've had guilt from noticing odd behavior well before him being diagnosed and wondering if i had been more vocal that something was really wrong with him maybe something could have been done.  Each year around the anniversary of his death I start getting more emotional like clockwork.  Even as im typing this i cant help but start crying.  I've also had some ptsd from some things that happend after his death that i wont get into great detail here.  I dont know what i expect to get out of relating my story tonight.  But thanks for taking the time to read.  I've read others stories on here on it helps me to see that others have had the same emotions that i have had over the years.  So hopefully this will do the same for someone else.  

[Lynelle]

Hi Kyle,

Just a note to let you know that you are not alone in your feelings. I lost my beloved sister in November 2016 and I have experienced everything that you write about. After all this time I am coming to believe that’s just who I am now and those thoughts and feelings will remain with me forever. Sort of like a soldier’s battle wounds that will never, ever truly heal. I’m a different person now. Although it’s sometimes difficult, I strive to still enjoy my life as I know she would want me to. I wish you all the best. xo

[reader]

Dear Kyle,

Thank you for sharing your story with us. I know many of us feel the same way. It helps me to know that I'm not alone. xo