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After 30 Years Wife Cheats And Leaves Me


tkitna

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Married for 30 years to the love of my life and she cheated on me and we are now 22 days into a messy divorce.  I loved her with all my heart and would have done anything for her and she left me.

Whole story - Wife and friend started a suboxone clinic together and ran it for 10 years.  One day the DEA storms the place and shuts it down because the two doctors employed were selling drugs on the side.  My wife was charged due to owning the place and was facing 10 years of prison and a 250,000 fine.  We borrowed 20,000 dollars off of my mother at the time for the best lawyer we could get and the ex got only 2 years of probation, but she lost her nursing license and was now a felon.  She went from making 150,000 a years to making $10 an hour as a janitor.  We had to sell a lot of stuff to get by and borrowed another 10,000 from my mother to pay the bills.  

Towards the end of the probation, the ex started drinking a lot.  At this point she had gotten a job as a bank teller and was drinking even at lunch time.  There was a two month period where she was drunk every single night.  My mother was elderly and was on constant oxygen and she wanted somebody with her during the nights.  My brothers and sister and I took turns, but I agreed to stay every night I had to work (work from home for computer company) since I was awake anyhow.  Made sense.  One night I stayed at my mom's and when I went home in the morning. my ex wasnt there.  She rolled in shortly after and said she was to drunk to drive.  She had stayed at the guys house and told me.  I flipped and called an attorney and started the divorce process.  She swore nothing happened and like a fool, I took her back.

Well I tried everything for 6 straight months to save the marriage, but I caught her the last time 22 days ago on our daughters birthday and she has been with him ever sense.  She doesnt care about her children now and has only reached out to her granddaughter once.  She and my daughter texted the other day and she openly admitted that she likes the money and gifts that make her feel like a real woman more than the love I gave her.  Daughter told her she better pray to God about that.  Ex said she wont talk to God anymore because she knows what she is doing is wrong and he'll condemn her.  Instead she is now using psychics and healing stones to guide her.  I'm afraid she has lost her mind.

Problem is I still love her and cant get over her.  I cant eat or sleep and i've been living off of coffee and cigarettes.  I've lost 30 pounds so far.  Everyday is like a weight on my chest and I live with constant stress and depression.  I cant get over the thoughts of another man touching my wife while i'll never be able to again.  The guy she is with is 60 and she is a good looking 50 year old.  He has been in jail for tax evasion and drugs and he has beaten every woman he has been with.  He's a real piece of **** that inherited money and hasent had to earn anything his entire life.  He needs to pay, but I doubt he ever will.

How do I get over this constant pain?  I'm not sure I ever will.

 

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I’m so sorry to hear about the end of your 30 year marriage. It is deeply painful and hurtful after being together for so long and wanting things to work out.

It’s important to try and take care of yourself as best as you can. Try and look for a support group in the community or through church. It might be helpful to talk to a counsellor or therapist or join other online groups for support.

My sister went through a terrible divorce. It’s been five years and she still has bad feelings towards her ex. Everyone is different and grieves differently. Be kind to yourself and take each day as it comes. I truly hope with more time you will feel stronger and more able to move forward

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