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I need to talk


Gags19

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I lost my eldest brother 2 years ago to a sudden heart attack and I’ve been the one holding everyone together since…and I’m tired! 
I need to grieve too

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Dear Gags19,

I'm sorry for your loss. Please know we are here to listen and support you in anyway we can. It's hard being the glue and wanting to hold everything together. But you are also entitled to express your thoughts and feelings and grieve this huge loss. I had to look outside my family for additional supports. I hope these sites will help you.

Grief in Common

Grief Share

What's Your Grief

Grief Healing Blog

Grief Recovery Method

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Gags19,

I am so sorry for your loss. I'm understanding more and more about the complexities of grief over time. I'm a mental health professional and despite my training, I am still surprised, frustrated, and angry about my own grief... and tired. Tired of knowing and hearing how normal all the feelings are. The only thing I know for sure that makes us feel better is to feel seen and heard and supported. I have lots of conversations with people about the differences in sudden loss and prolonged loss - neither is better or worse, all loss is hard. My sister has been battling stage 4 cancer for over five years and it seems she is in the final stretch, given about 6 months longer and it is an impossible feeling to get my arms around. I struggle every day, so I understand your need to talk. Keep talking. To those who can catch your grief, look you in the eye, and just lend a hand. If you don't have people who can offer that - see the sites recommended above and use this forum. I'm trying everything I can think of to help myself too... it's just so hard some days, but I heard your message and I am sending you positive energy. You take good care!

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Gags19, 

My little brother died in April and I already know how it feels. Just the amount of pressure is suffocating especially when you're expected to be the strong one. Give yourself some grace. You can't fill anyone else's cup if yours isn't full right.

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