Our Baby Dog... RIP

[Presley]

 

 

Hi,

While desperately looking online for help I came across this forum. I am hoping there is someone here that can help me or, perhaps, there is someone with an experience that can relate and provide feedback.

I lost my baby boy on November 19, 2021 to a terrible, but avoidable, accident. It will be 3 months in a couple of days but it still feels like it was yesterday. I have not functioned properly since that day and I feel like things are only getting worse. I knew the pain would last a long time but I didn't expect this level of mourning. I've lost friends / family but none of those events compare to this.

Presley was a 1 1/2 year old mini Aussie (or American shepherd)  He was my pride and joy, my best friend, and an amazing companion. He was taken from me far too early and I don't know how to recover.

I'm a 43 year old male with no biological children so that likely had something to do with the type of bond we had. I do have two step daughters but something with Presley was different. I can truthfully say that I was in love with him; Presley filled a void that I didn't know I was missing.

Presley was sought out due to my diagnosis with Kidney disease. I knew I would have a lot of time on my own and I wanted someone around for company. I built a framework around this Journey we were going to embark on but apparently the universe had other plans.

I think a lot of the pain / sorrow is guilt but I haven't figured out a way to control it. I am a huge animal person and also very empathetic by nature. 

Since that day I have spent countless hours working on something to express my love and gratitude for Presley. It has been the source of many tears but I felt the need to do something so he wouldn't be forgotten. I want to share it to the forum for Presley, for myself, and to relay a message that I feel everyone needs to know. (one which many of you likely already do)  Never, ever, chase a scared or lost animal.. Please tell / teach the proper procedure to anyone you know. Had my family, the local police department, and the local humane society understood this simple lesson my baby boy would still be alive today.

If you have time, please take a moment to watch my tribute  http://www.ourbabydog.ca

Please keep in mind I have no experience with video creation / editing but I did the best I could with what I had. The video is not monetized and I am not asking anyone here for anything other than advice / feedback. I created this Tribute so others could experience my boy and to express why I feel how I do.

I appreciate everyone's time and suggestions.

[foreverhis]

What a sweet and loving tribute.  My heart hurts so much for you and your Presley.  A friend has a mini Aussie and he is funny, loving, and playful  It seems your baby was too.  Words cannot express my sorrow for your and Presley's tragedy.  I am stunned that the police and humane society didn't know the proper way to help a frightened, perhaps confused and/or lost, dog.

It probably won't help to know this now, but the guilt you feel as part of your grief is incredibly common.  The "What if...?" and "I should/shouldn't have..." and "Why did/didn't I...?" and on and on roll around in our minds and hearts because we believe we should have been able to prevent anything bad from happening to them.  We are their protectors; we feel the responsibility so that even when there's really nothing we could have done and no way to foresee the outcome, we shoulder the blame anyway.  We're the ones left here and so we stare into the mirror and say, "It's your fault."  But I promise you that with time--months and years, not days and weeks--and with help and support of people who truly understand, we can slowly shift that guilt to regret.  Thus is has been for me with our two most special fur babies and my husband.  It took a long time, but I have mostly learned to accept the things I could or should have done better/differently, but also accept that there were things over which I had no control.

I wish I had magic words to help, but the truth is that they simply don't exist.  They are felt deeply in our hearts, where our love resides.  No matter what anyone ever tells you, grief is a long, hard journey.  There are no time limits, no straight or easy path through it, and no set "stages."  Our grief is as unique as we are.  But I want you to know that being here with people who really do understand, who know that deep pain and grief, helped me and still does.  I've likened it to each of us walking our own path, but being on the same road together.  Now that you are here, you are not alone.  Others with more recent losses will come soon, I'm sure.  Being in different time zones and in individual circumstances, some of our members post more often than others.  It can take time, but rest assured that everyone here cares.

[Luminescense]

I am sorry to hear of your loss.

Thank you for sharing your tribute and also the picture of handsome, little Presley.

I am sure that you did everything that you possibly could for Presley. Even within his short life, I'm sure you provided every ounce of love you had, which makes all the difference.

Wishing you well!

[magicmiriam]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

The tribute is both sad and happy. The bond you had is obvious.

I lost my dog 3 weeks ago and i'm still grieving like i did the first day.

The more you loved the more you grieve.

I too spend most of my days doing something that has to do with him , pictures, videos, wall art, i got a tattoo with his name, anything to keep me close to him.

Most people in my life can't understand why i'm still crying all day so i come here to this site where everyone understands me. I read about other peoples

losses. It helps a lot.

I miss my Tiny so much and i know you miss Presley.

I'm sure you did everything you can.

My heart goes out to you.

[KayC]

17 hours ago, Presley said:

I felt the need to do something so he wouldn't be forgotten.

I love this picture of him!

Such a beautiful boy, I can tell how loved he is!

It was important to me to write about my Arlie's life and his journey with cancer, I never want him to be forgotten either, so I wrote them here...
I AM SO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS!  It's been 2 1/2 years two days ago and I miss him still, I always will.  I considered him my soulmate in a dog!  My perfect dog...

THIS IS FOR YOU!
Accidental Death
Comfort for Grieving Animal Lovers