Positives

[Canadagirl81]

My new job is going very well. I've gotten many compliments from management about how pleased they are with me. I moved into my very own apartment on Monday and I'm proud of myself for pushing forward. 

[DWS]

26 minutes ago, Canadagirl81 said:

My new job is going very well. I've gotten many compliments from management about how pleased they are with me. I moved into my very own apartment on Monday and I'm proud of myself for pushing forward. 

That is so wonderful to hear, Laura! That definitely would not have been an easy move but now you've got one big worry out of the way. A major accomplishment for sure. 

[KayC]

15 hours ago, Canadagirl81 said:

My new job is going very well. I've gotten many compliments from management about how pleased they are with me. I moved into my very own apartment on Monday and I'm proud of myself for pushing forward. 

And well you should be!  I'm so glad you've accomplished both, that's a lot! 

[Canadagirl81]

Thanks so much @KayC My manager approached me today about a promotion...I have only been there a month. I feel truly blessed. 

Thank you @DWS I truly appreciate that. I hope you are doing okay. 

[KayC]

8 hours ago, Canadagirl81 said:

My manager approached me today about a promotion...I have only been there a month. I feel truly blessed.

You may be but so are they!  I'm just so glad he recognizes it!  That's an amazing accomplishment, particularly in early grief!

[KayC]

Last night at 4 pm a judge signed my daughter's divorce decree!  We are beyond ecstatic that this finally brings her some closure!  She is free, after 5 1/2 years of her husband ditching her emotionally, physically, in every way...he's already living with his GF, moved on long ago.  I am so happy for her!  I told her the shame is not on her, it's his to carry.  She doesn't have a scarlet letter, she can hold her head high, knowing she was the best wife and never gave up on the marriage or him...he did that all himself.  It's time she put all this in the past and starts a new chapter of her life, and she will be fine.  She no longer has mixed feelings, the pain and heartbreak he has put her through, she is free at last.

[Carol34]

On 6/5/2022 at 8:26 PM, foreverhis said:

 

 I still have a very hard time just going upstairs and going to bed.  More often than not, I still fall asleep on the sofa with something quietly on TV in the background before waking up a couple of hours later and actually going to bed.  The vast emptiness of our small home is still a challenge.

 

This is something I do too.  Even before Paul died, this is how my evening went.  He used to say that I was the only person he knew that slept better if I took a nap right before bed.  But it's true!  I still do it now.  I turn on reruns of an old show (Golden Girls, Mom, etc.) and turn it way down.  I usually sleep for about 2 hours, and then I go to bed.  It's nice to know that someone else does this.

And here's my positive....

I opened up the mail the other day, and there was a $500 money order from my sister!  It was a total surprise, and greatly appreciated!  It might not sound like much to anyone else, but it's huge to me!

On 6/5/2022 at 8:26 PM, foreverhis said:

 

 I still have a very hard time just going upstairs and going to bed.  More often than not, I still fall asleep on the sofa with something quietly on TV in the background before waking up a couple of hours later and actually going to bed.  The vast emptiness of our small home is still a challenge.

 

This is something I do too.  Even before Paul died, this is how my evening went.  He used to say that I was the only person he knew that slept better if I took a nap right before bed.  But it's true!  I still do it now.  I turn on reruns of an old show (Golden Girls, Mom, etc.) and turn it way down.  I usually sleep for about 2 hours, and then I go to bed.  It's nice to know that someone else does this.

And here's my positive....

I opened up the mail the other day, and there was a $500 money order from my sister!  It was a total surprise, and greatly appreciated!  It might not sound like much to anyone else, but it's huge to me!

[Gail 8588]

I had a lovely dream last night sharing an afternoon with my husband. We talked, we strolled, we even stopped in one of our old regular restaurants and had a bite to eat. 

I woke a bit euphoric. I am so happy to have seen him, touched him, heard him talk and laugh. It has been at least 3 years since I last dreamt of him.  I thought that it might never happen again.  I am so happy to know that such a dream is still possible. 

Gail

[KayC]

20 hours ago, cmp34 said:

I opened up the mail the other day, and there was a $500 money order from my sister!  It was a total surprise

Wow, that's amazing!  I'm so glad for you, $ is tight when we lose them and every bit helps!

19 hours ago, Gail 8588 said:

I woke a bit euphoric. I am so happy to have seen him, touched him, heard him talk and laugh.

I'm so glad you got that!  

[MaddHollander]

I love to hear new stories about how my wife’s generosity and love touched other people. Yesterday I stopped at a neighborhood farmers market and another shopper, a young woman in a college t-shirt approached me. I didn’t recognize her until she spoke, her accent triggered good memories of my wife talking books with her.

The young woman has been away at college, expressed her condolences but told me how the books my wife gave her and the conversations they had while she was in high school jump started her love of reading. English wasn’t her first language, she learned new words by reading but she said the books ‘opened up new worlds of adventure’ and will forever be grateful.

It was so very nice, no wonderful, to hear that the woman I married who for me always made every day better than the one before also touched others.

[DWS]

10 hours ago, MaddHollander said:

The young woman has been away at college, expressed her condolences but told me how the books my wife gave her and the conversations they had while she was in high school jump started her love of reading. English wasn’t her first language, she learned new words by reading but she said the books ‘opened up new worlds of adventure’ and will forever be grateful.

What a wonderful and unexpected experience for you and so sweet that this young woman made this gesture. She obviously was carrying a little of her own grief out of the respect she gained from knowing your wife. 

Throughout these times of sheer grief, I keep wondering what, if anything, would help to lessen these moments of despair and I think kind and caring gestures like these are part of the answer. Just that acknowledgement of the person who we've lost...stories of what made another person smile or touch their hearts bring our person to the forefront...front and centre....and help remind us why we grieve and how fortunate we were to have had them in our lives. 

[KayC]

7 minutes ago, DWS said:

I think kind and caring gestures like these are part of the answer. Just that acknowledgement of the person who we've lost

Yes!

[Sparky1]

12 hours ago, MaddHollander said:

I love to hear new stories about how my wife’s generosity and love touched other people. Yesterday I stopped at a neighborhood farmers market and another shopper, a young woman in a college t-shirt approached me. I didn’t recognize her until she spoke, her accent triggered good memories of my wife talking books with her.

The young woman has been away at college, expressed her condolences but told me how the books my wife gave her and the conversations they had while she was in high school jump started her love of reading. English wasn’t her first language, she learned new words by reading but she said the books ‘opened up new worlds of adventure’ and will forever be grateful.

It was so very nice, no wonderful, to hear that the woman I married who for me always made every day better than the one before also touched others.

I really enjoy my mother in law's recounting memories of her daughter as she was growing up. It is so warming and comforting, and also gives me a more retrospective view of my wife. I also learn a lot from my sister in law; even after all the years of being together with my wife, it is wonderful learning new things about her.

[Gord]

I lost my beautiful Carol in the fall. It has been so difficult and devastating. The most positive thing that has happened surprised me. I have always had strong faith, tested as it has been of late. But a friend from years ago is a medium and in March I did a small group session with her and it was for real…very specific things only I would know of. It left me with such peace in getting those messages from Carol and it too what felt like at least half the burden off my shoulders and gave me so much peace and serenity. I know there are a lot of scammers out there, and I know people can be lead with generalities so I was ver cautious. But it was so specific it was amazing…I had never believed nor disbelieved in this kind of stuff before, but am open minded. I actually feel like it raised my faith in providing proof that there really is a heaven and that she is there and we will one day be reunited!! It feels like it may have saved my life…

[Gail 8588]

Gord, 

I am glad you had a positive experience. We all need hope to get us through. Some of us find hope in a bird, a cloud, a dream, or other unexpected sign.  I am glad the medium gave you comfort and a bit of peace.  

Gail