lost my sister

[can-amwolf]

Hi everyone. I am here because I lost my sister on June 29/2021 9 am in the morning when I got the call, and I am having a hard time with it. I did not even know she was sick, she had cancer. I just got a call from my brother-in-law out of nowhere on a Wednesday evening saying my sister had fell down and hurt herself and that she had also been battling cancer for the last 1 and a half. She had gone into remission after kimo. Then he told me that the cancer was back, and it had spread to most of her body, and it did not look good for her. I live in the U.S, moved here from Canada in 2005. So, I was scrambling to try to get up to Canada to see her. Then the following Tuesday morning I got the call that she had passed away around 9 am. It's hard because if I would have known she was fighting cancer I would have made an effort to get up there to see her. Another aspect of this is that my mother is a two-time breast cancer survivor (84 years old now), she is in a long-term care facility now. my mother's two half-sisters and own mother passed from breast cancer in around their forties. My father had passed away when I was 25 from an aging decease, he was only 62 and he looked in his nineties, he slowly lost his mobility over the course of 7 years which it was very hard for him, and he became very mean and bitter to everyone around him. The last two years of his life he spent in real pain and bed ridden. I also found out that my brother-in-law was bullying my mother and my sister, and I think he bullied my sister into getting my mother to switch her will (took me out of the will and replaced me with my brother-in-law for my mother's house) and then bullied my sister into getting my mom to switch power of attorney from my aunt to my brother-in-law.  So now he controls my mother's money, and I just don't trust him to pay her bills. So, I am upset about all of this, and he is living in my mom's house rent free right now (my sister and him has been living in my mom's house rent free for the last 30 years). How do I properly grieve for my sister while I am dealing with all this information about my mother's situation (how he bullied her) and my brother-in-law situation. I know my brother-in-law has bad health issues and is in a lot of pain himself, but I don't think that excuses him from what he did. I want to move on past all this and grieve for my sister and just make sure my mother is getting taken care of. I have so many emotions that it is hard to deal with any of them. My wife tries to help me, and it is hard for her too because her mother passed two years ago out of nowhere too and there were things that just did not add up prior to her death also. So, I need help that is why I am trying to talk about it here and I am in counseling for it too. thank you for reading all of my words and thoughts. 

[Zona]

I don't have any answers for you but would like to extend my condolences on the loss of your sister. Grieving is harder when we have to deal with all the things around it which can be negative when families are hurting. Sorry for your loss.