My dad

[Shannon 2021]

I lost my dad back in August and I'm having such a hard time living without him. And he was very very sick. Is there anyone who can help me?

[Valerie Lockhart]

Dear Shannon 2021,

I'm sorry for the loss of your father. I too lost my father to cancer and my mother to kidney failure and respiratory issues. My mom and I were extremely close, and it still bothers me four years later. Don’t hold back the tears! Crying helps ease the pain of grief. Jesus Christ was a perfect man who had strong faith in God. Yet, he “gave way to tears” over the death of his dear friend Lazarus. (John 11:35) So don’t be afraid to let your tears flow. I experienced feelings of guilt over my mother's death. I blamed myself for her getting bedsores in the hospital. Nurses made me leave the room, when bathing her. As a result, I didn't see them until it was too late. It took years for me to realize that it’s normal to feel regret over things I wish I had done differently. The fact is, I would have done things differently had I known what would happen. Keeping your feelings bottled up inside may make it difficult for you to deal with your grief. On the other hand, discussing your feelings with someone you trust will open the way for you to receive “kind words” of encouragement when you need them most. So let your surviving parent know how you feel. Such discussions will no doubt relieve you of some of your grief and draw the two of you closer together. To help start a conversation, try this exercise: List two or three things that you wish you could have known about your deceased dad, and then ask to discuss one of these with your surviving parent. I felt much better after I poured out my heart to Jehovah God in prayer. (Psalm 62:8) This is not simply a ‘feel-good therapy.’ In prayer, you are appealing to “the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation.”—2 Corinthians 1:3, 4. One way that God provides comfort is through his holy spirit. It can infuse you with “power beyond what is normal,” so that you can endure the pain of grief. (2 Corinthians 4:7) God also provides “comfort from the Scriptures.” (Romans 15:4) So ask God for his spirit, and take time to read the encouragement found in his Word, the Bible. Grief can be like waves that crash ashore at unexpected moments, but with God's help you can make it through the hard times.

[Shannon 2021]

Thank you for your help. I will look into these readings. Thank you so much

[Jen H]

So sorry for you loss.  I also lost my father in 2008 and my mom two years later.  It's one of the worst things to go through in your life to loss a parent. I don't know how old you are but we tend to think they will be around til we get old.  I lost mine in my thirties both suddenly.  Too soon.  We will always need them no matter how old we are.  No one can ever replace them.  I don't have all the answers as everyone's situation is different.  I came here three months ago after my boyfriend of 22 years passed away.  He was the one there for me through my other losses so hopefully you have family and good friends to fill your time and cherish his memories with.  I regret not having a closer relationship with my dad.  They divorced and he moved out of town.  But he was always there for me and loved me more than anything.  You will get through this, it just takes time.  Probably a long time since you two were so close.  Please know that his physical being is gone but he is still always and forever with you.  Keep coming here if it helps you.  I will be there for you if you need someone to vent your feelings and frustrations too.