Loss of my dad

[Anonn]

I recently lost my dad. He was only his 50’s and I am only in my 20’s and I just feel empty and lost inside. Every days emotions are different. Sometimes I feel anxious and I have worries about the future and then feel worse as he would have been there in support . I can’t explain how I feel today. Today I feel like I’m in limbo. I feel like I’m waiting for something and then I realise there’s nothing to be waiting for. My dad spent 3 weeks in hospital following a heart attack which meant I was always waiting to hear about how my dad was or I would go and see him and now there is none of that. Maybe once I start work again that will help keep me occupied as I’m currently supporting my mother at home and the rest of my family. I would just really love some support and advice. I truly don’t know how to explain how I feel, it’s confusing even to myself. I have an amazing family and we are close knit so I can’t understand why I feel like this but then maybe that’s a part of grieiving. 

[leona.brown1991]

I told have lost my dad, in 2019. More recently I have lost my dear mother to covid 12/17. I understand the limbo feeling, I feel like I am unable to feel anything but then its crashes down. 

 

As far as advice goes, i don't have any.. but I just wanted to say be thankful for the times you had and cherish every moment. I have lost both my parents and just turned 30 this year. Cherish every moment! <3 if you need someone to talk to, as do I, I am here! 

[Anonn]

Hi Leona. I’m so sorry for both of your losses. I have always been so attached to both my parents so I suppose I should be grateful that I still have my mum who is an incredible mother. My dad passed on the 13th December this year following a major heart attack but we never saw death coming we thought he would get better. But I can’t seem to understand why he had to go. Maybe it was his time but why. Why did it have to be. I needed him. I suppose I just feel very low and this time of year is always that reminiscent period. My dad truly was my anchor. I feel scared without him even if I don’t need to be scared. I’ll feel something then later feel nothing then it all changes again. I don’t want to feel happy yet either I almost want to mope about and think about my dad. It’s so messed up what happens to you when you lose someone. People say be strong but I don’t want to be strong yet but equally I don’t want to ruin my life feeling sad.
 

I appreciate  your kindness leona

[leona.brown1991]

I completely understand, with my dad it was hard but he'd been sick for years from COPD and other lung an heart issues, then I had to see him in hospice and it was I an my mother taking care of him until the day he did pass. It hurt and I cried but was able to have that sense of relief like he's not struggling to breathe or to get up and not having to lay in that bed day in a day out. 

but with my mom, it was right after thanksgiving 11/27 when she first got sick.. and sat there for 3 days until my other sister that lives in the same town as her came by an by then her oxygen was low 60's... an then 12/2 they admitted her into the hospital .. total isolation .. so none of us could see her .. she txted when she could but couldn't talk well bc they had her on the cpap for all that time. When they did finally call they were thinking it was EOL so they let us come in an see her, that night she stopped responding.. she completely refused the ventilator an coded as we were walking into the hospital that morning.. 

 

death is very hard and I am one that never expected to say good bye to either parents but my mother.. god it hit me like a ton of bricks. I am to have that feeling of feeling horriable if I even have a moment of relief or bare the moment where I do feel happy again bc I feel as if my happiness has completely gone away. I've tried to work today, but worked from home but needless to say not much got done.. idk how to restart.. I wish there was a restart button as each as starting over .. but there is not. I am so angry at everyone an everything.. an this just around my favorite holiday I feel like I will never feel the joy again.. so I completely understand and I hope for healing for your heart.

 

<3

an I am here if youd like to talk about who he was an what made him a great dad. I understand if it's to early but I just left my whole family brothers and sisters back home and I found that it helped to talk about who they were as people.. 

[Jen H]

So sorry for all you losses. I lost my mom and dad within two years and both suddenly only being in my thirties.  Those two were all the family I had to support and be there for me.  It's a total shock to loss parents at an early age.  We expect them to be around until we get old.  It's been 11 years without my parents and it's still not easy.  Even though we become adults and have our own lives we still need them sometimes.  I just have learned to live without them.  Though they are always in my heart.  Surround yourself with your remaining family and cherish the memories with them.  

[A.R.W.]

I totally understand where you are coming from. I lost my dad on Dec 21, 2021. It was sudden and unexpected. I'm only 22, so I don't know what life holds ahead. When I read your story, I wanted to reach out because it felt so much like my own.

My family and I are very close as well. I never realized how much I was like my dad until he passed. I feel isolated from others, even though I know we are all grieving over the same loss.

I get emotions can be everywhere and that you can't explain them because there is just so much overwhelm. All I remind myself to do is take it one day at at a time. And only cross one bridge as at a time when it comes to decisions and such. 

Loss at a young age like this one feels daunting because there is so much that our dads will be missing. But I know they are always looking out for us. Reminding myself of him and thinking of how he would respond to me in situations have helped me feel close to him too.

 

[Anonn]

Leona, Jen and ARW. thank you so much for the support you have offered. I wish none of us were in this position. It doesn’t matter how old your parents are, you never want them to go. But I think when a parent goes at a young age, you just can’t understand it? You think of all the milestones they will miss out on but I know it’s never enough. We could be 50 with grown children but it wouldn’t have been long enough still, our parent (s) still wouldn’t have seen enough. Some days I sit here and I can’t get it around my head. I can’t understand how I will live without my dad now. I know we will do it. God makes you so that you do just move on but right now the thought is so scary. These people who have guided us and been our rocks are no longer here? Or at least one is no longer here?? I feel angry too. Why did this have to happen to MY dad? Each parent offers something different. My mum and I are sooo close but then so we’re my dad and I and he was able to offer me things mum couldn’t and vice versa. I’m praying for us all during this hard time and we will get through it because everyone does. It won’t be easy. When people say think about the memories, I don’t want to yet because I just want him here. It’s too soon to think about the good times. Take care all of you 

[GB16]

Hi,

I am in a similar situation. My dad passed 2 weeks ago. I feel your pain. I don't know how I will be able to live in a world where I will never see or speak to my dad again. It creates major sadness, depression, and anxiety. I hope we can all find it within ourselves to have faith that we will one day see them again and they are in a better place.