Multiple loss of spouse and siblings

[Barbara R]

I lost my spouse Ken, in August, 2021.  Shortly after that I lost my brother.  Then in October, I lost my sisters who were twins within 3 days of each other.  I am the oldest of 12 children.  My parents are both gone.  I lost the sister just under me 2 years ago and the youngest brother when he was 4 days old.

I am having major difficulties in moving forward.  Before my husband passed, I started an online business.  I have not been able to be consistent in what I'm supposed to be doing in order for that to become a success.  

How do I move forward through all of this.  I simply cry at the drop of a hat.  My Primary Physician has me on medication for both anxiety and depression.  I've been on medication of this type for many, many years.  The medication made it easier NOT to cry.  Now it does nothing.  My Primary said he would prescribe a sedative after Ken passed (we knew it was going to happen sooner rather than later) but he didn't do that.  

I don't know how to get back to how I was before.  I need to do this or chance losing money I can't afford to lose now that Ken is gone.

Any help?

[Barbara R]

I guess there's no help here.  

[missing_my_friend]

@Barbara R, I recently join this forum and just saw your post. 

I am so sorry for your loses. I can't imagine how tough its been for you. 

I know you are feeling lost and doesn't know how to cope with everything happened. 

People will say time will heal but it really doesn't. Grieving and pain continues even after many years passes. I lost my dad 6 years ago and most recently, my cat friend of 10 years. I am still grieving and feeling lots of guilt.

But I know that my dad doesn't want me to be this way. He wants me to be happy, healthy and move on in my life, until we meet again. 

I have been suffering depression and went through counseling but didn't help. Only thing it helping me so far is to let myself know nothing is perfect and its okay. 

I just watched this video someone posted. It helped me during this difficult time. 

 

 

[DLeonard]

On 12/20/2021 at 11:46 PM, Barbara R said:

I lost my spouse Ken, in August, 2021.  Shortly after that I lost my brother.  Then in October, I lost my sisters who were twins within 3 days of each other.  I am the oldest of 12 children.  My parents are both gone.  I lost the sister just under me 2 years ago and the youngest brother when he was 4 days old.

I am having major difficulties in moving forward.  Before my husband passed, I started an online business.  I have not been able to be consistent in what I'm supposed to be doing in order for that to become a success.  

How do I move forward through all of this.  I simply cry at the drop of a hat.  My Primary Physician has me on medication for both anxiety and depression.  I've been on medication of this type for many, many years.  The medication made it easier NOT to cry.  Now it does nothing.  My Primary said he would prescribe a sedative after Ken passed (we knew it was going to happen sooner rather than later) but he didn't do that.  

I don't know how to get back to how I was before.  I need to do this or chance losing money I can't afford to lose now that Ken is gone.

Any help?

Hi I'm new here,just saw your post and it made me cry, which I do a lot of these days.I lost my best friend when his parachute didn't open.That was 1975 when I lived in San Fran .I started to lose 98% of friends from HIV, suicide, murder, overdosing the list goes on.Lost my dad, my job at same time.My best friend killed herself 2yrs ago and her husband on his way to visit me died in a car accident.What I'm trying to say is that I do understand how you must feel. I have a good psyc  who told me he'd never give up on me.That was 15 yrs ago and I'm still trying. Just lost my cats within a few yrs they are my kids. My dear friend who's a psyc. nurse told me the term for meds. It's called the poop out factor.This is why your meds stopped working....From my own experience it takes time to find the right combo and the fight dr. to work with you and for you.I don't have children because I worked for a major airline for 30 yrs. so my companions are my life..I wish I could tell you how go get thru this.but I will tell you that there is someone here that understands .

[reader]

Dear Barbara,

I am so sorry to read about all the losses you have suffered. It is deeply painful. 

It's always so hard to know what to do for oneself. Please know there is support. There are many good resources in the community and through church. I would consider grief counselling or joining a support group. I also found these websites helpful

What's Your Grief

Grief in Common

Grief Healing Blog

Grief Share

Grief Recovery Method

Thinking of you.