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I'm lost

Holly major

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My mom passed away when I was in prison and it wrecked me I don't know what to do or say or anything I'm scared of everything I feel so alone and I'm terrified please help

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Dear Holly,

I am sorry for your loss. Please know there are many supports through the community and church. I found these websites helpful.

What's Your Grief

Grief in Common

Grief Healing Blog

Grief Share

Grief Recovery Method.

My thoughts are with you.

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Billie D.

Hi Holly,

I'm so sorry for your heart. How long since you'd seen your mom? Not being able to see her the way you would have liked to, sucks. 

While visiting my mom in July, my partner passed away. I found him collapsed, did CPR til EMTs got there. They couldn't revive him. I was a wreck. It was hard for me to talk to people...even my mom. I was a hermit. She called and sent cards. I spoke with her when she called, but rarely initiated contact. She'd been widowed suddenly, in her lifetime,  so she truly understood. I feel badly that I told her I was coming down to visit 2 or 3 times, then cancelled, cuz I was afraid of going back to where I found him that day. She said she understood, and not to worry, and I should come down when I was ready.

Then on October 1st, Mom fell in her bedroom and hit her head. After 12 miserable days in neuro ICU, she passed away. I could have gone to see her, during the months before her fall, and I wanted to, but I didn't. It's hard to forgive myself for the opportunites lost, cuz, of course, I can never get them back. 

By the way  Lost, is exactly how I feel, too. Untethered. Like a fish out of water...Always feeling like I need to be somewhere else  or be doing something else. Nothing feels right. 

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