Loss of all family members

[Flif]

Hello. I am new to this community and I would very much appreciate to connect with people with experiences similar to mine. I hope we can help each other. 

I am 47. I lost my Dad when I was 12,  and my Mom passed away 5 months ago. I have no siblings, no grandparents, no close relatives and no family of my own. I have some friends but no one with this type of experience. My Mom and I didn't live together but we were very close (also due to the circumstances we had to face...the loss of everyone else in our family early on). I feel alone and scared. I am not sure how and where to find meaning in life. I met someone (a man) just a couple of months before my Mom died. He is a good man, but he has 2 kids from a previous marriage, both of his parents, a brother. I don't know how to find my space in his life. He seems to be occupied with so many things. He did help me a lot when my mother passed. And I am eternally grateful. But it was my Mom who encouraged me, listened to my problems, supported me, she was my best friend. There is a huge void I feel. I also don't have kids of my own. So who does one live for? Oneself, yes. But that doesn't seem or feel enough now.  I would really appreciate some advice. 

Thank you so much! 

[reader]

Dear Flif, 

I am sorry for your loss.  Please know you are not alone and many people are in the same situation. I too found it very hard to find the right support after losing my dad. Even those of us with families and friends and colleagues can feel very isolated during grief.  I found strangers kinder than my own family. I tried many things from grief counselling, grief support group, online groups, joining different community groups, volunteering, arts and crafts, reading and journaling. 

Be patient and kind with yourself and continue to take it one day at a time. It sounds like you have a good man and he will try to help you as much as he can. 

I too felt a huge void after my dad's passing. 5 years later it's still there but I keep trying and living the best I can knowing that's what he would want.

Take care. Thinking of you.

[Flif]

Thank you very much for your compassion. It means a lot. The thing is that my Mom and I were together (just the two of us) for more than 25 years now (we didn't live together all these years, of course)  and we created a very tight bond, she was my best friend. I know that there are many people who must be in a similar situation. It's just a really strange and sad feeling that the last member of your family is gone. I don't have any other family members at all. 

I know how you feel, thanks so much for sharing your experience. I believe we stay connected with the people we love forever. And I hope that they guide us and help us in some way, too.

I am reaching out for help wherever and whenever I can. And I try to reciprocate too. 

Thanks again. 

All the best.

[ESM]

I know how you feel. I just lost my Mom, my brother died years ago, never new my father, and have no significant other or children. My Mom was my universe my whole life.  Might seem strange for a 51 year old man to say that, but it's true. I feel stranded on an asteroid, totally alone. It's horrific and unbearable. I'm trying to somehow just make it to the next minute. Wish you all the best.

[Flif]

Thanks for sharing your experience. I think it helps a bit when we share our thoughts and stories.  I too wish you all the best.

[Flif]

I wanted to add that the man I am with has issues of his own (but he doesn't  communicate much)  and he has started to distance himself. This makes me feel very alone and also sadder.  Any advice? I feel pretty down and exhausted. My Mom was the one who always comforted me and supported me. I do appreciate your advice and help so much!