I Still Talk to Mom and Dad

[stardewleah]

I'm 22, and I lost my parents. (Dad in 2016, and Mom in December of 2019, right before the pandemic hit). Since then I've been living alone in the old family house (I don't have any siblings or other family), and I get really stressed out by it all, and the stress of being alone all the time, especially due to the past year and a half of working from home. When I'm feeling really stressed, sometimes I carry my phone around and tell Mom or Dad about my day, and talk through the problems I'm having, just like I would have if they were here. It's weird, but it helps-- does anyone else do this, or do you think it's weird or unhealthy? I don't actually believe they're still here or anything, it just helps to keep them "updated" as much as I can. (because I know mom would always want to know what was happening), and it helps me talk myself through things that are causing me anxiety. I guess I'm also wondering ways other people stay connected to people who are gone when you're all by yourself

[Kazuko]

Hi I lost my mom on April 10, 2021…. She was diagnosed with cancer April 2019 she came to my home and I took care of her she did not do very well on chemo but finally she went on keyTruda and immunotherapy drug which she did very well on and we thought she was doing good…. Little did we know that she had hepatitis C and her liver was being damaged she fell from a very small bench in my room and broke her hip and that’s all it took for the decline to start to happen many complications with hepatitis causing liver damage water retention pain etc.

it’s only been five months and I am in tears writing this to you but we all need to help each other it’s devastating to lose a parent.

she came on hospice April 6 I took care of her until she died on April 10 5:20 PM those few days were the most difficult time in my whole The images of her haunt me to this day but I try to think of the happy times that we had and the blessings that God gave us during the time she live with me we shared some good times together

i’m sorry that you are going through what you are feeling I find what helps me is I have a picture of my mother in the place where she used to sit every morning in her room and I talk to her in the mornings that I talk to her at night and sometimes during the day. 

I tell her about my day I tell her that I miss her I tell her I love her I talk about the memories we shared together and then I tell her mom I need to go now I have things to do but I’ll be back to talk to you this seems to help some. 

no matter what they’re always be those holes in our hearts but we must know that our parents would want us to Move on and be happy find joy in life and count our blessings. try not to think of the sad things I know it’s hard but try not to get stuck in that place visit it but then move or think of happy things keep busy I know that your parents are watching you and I hope that you enjoy your life as they would want you to because they loved you and still love you!!! 
 

I am still grieving I am still processing I’m still trying to figure things out but I do know that if we get stuck in the grief we will hurt ourselves mentally and physically and that’s not something that our parents would want us to do.  our health is very important to us I pray for you I pray for me that things will start to get better and the pain will become less and the happy memories will be stay in our minds more than the sad ones.

big hug = god bless you = take care 

 

 

 

[Sarahismymom]

I just talked my mom through my weekly grocery shopping. “See mommy here’s where I’d get the grapes you like. Here’s the ice cream you like. I’ll miss getting that for you every week. “. I talk to her throughout the day.  A football player she liked is playing well and I said “Look how he’s doing this year mom!”   I don’t want her to have to listen to me all day. I just want her to hear me when I’m really hurting and want her to know I love her. Like right now to be honest.  Just want her to be with me maybe once a day. That way she can enjoy heaven.   
 

The comment about “haunting images” from hospice hit me. I kept hearing how peaceful it would be and how comforting it could be. Nothing could be further from the truth for me. 

[Kazuko]

This is good that you’re doing this it will help.

I do the same I tell my mom remember and this fruit you still like it so much remember this blouse he used to wear now I am wearing it feels so good it still smells like you

[Oizys Miseria]

On 9/27/2021 at 9:21 PM, stardewleah said:

I'm 22, and I lost my parents. (Dad in 2016, and Mom in December of 2019, right before the pandemic hit). Since then I've been living alone in the old family house (I don't have any siblings or other family), and I get really stressed out by it all, and the stress of being alone all the time, especially due to the past year and a half of working from home. When I'm feeling really stressed, sometimes I carry my phone around and tell Mom or Dad about my day, and talk through the problems I'm having, just like I would have if they were here. It's weird, but it helps-- does anyone else do this, or do you think it's weird or unhealthy? I don't actually believe they're still here or anything, it just helps to keep them "updated" as much as I can. (because I know mom would always want to know what was happening), and it helps me talk myself through things that are causing me anxiety. I guess I'm also wondering ways other people stay connected to people who are gone when you're all by yourself

I don’t think this is strange.  In fact I think a lot of people do this.  I find myself watching the show I use to watch with my mom and pretend she is there watching it with me.  I’m getting flashbacks of the show smallville.  When Lana would visit her parents graves and have full conversations with them on what’s going on in her life.  I use to think it was odd, but now I see how therapeutic that can be.