Lost my sister five months after losing our mother

[Fairley]

Good morning all,

I first started this website looking for people I could talk to and open up to about losing and grieving my mother. The typical “it’ll be okay” or “she’s still here, be strong” was driving me crazy! Frankly still is. I finally felt like I was getting to a point where my grief is my grief and if I cry and mourn my mother everyday for the rest of my life then so be it. I didn’t care and still don’t care who likes it or not. If I was going to be “okay” I wanted to be okay on my terms and my time not because my grief was a burden to everyone around me. I was starting to have better days. Days where I was laughing about a memory, or the thought of my mom made me smile more than usual. I wasn’t pretending to be okay, I was actually trying. Two days before the five month anniversary of my moms passing, my sister was hit by a dump truck on her way to work and was killed instantly. I am a wreck. On the outside, I’m just numb. I’m just here. On the inside, I’m dying. I’m mad, how could something like this happen?! To my sister?! I’m sad, did she know? Was she in pain or wishing for help and I wasn’t there? Old wounds have reopened and new wound have formed. I don’t know how much more I can take. 

[reader]

Dear Fairley,

I am so sorry for your loss. It is unimaginable to lose your mom and then your beloved sister so soon. It's hard when friends and family cannot offer us the support that we need. Please know we are here with you. But it's also important to seek out additional supports in the community or through church. I also found these websites helpful.

Grief in Common

Grief Share

Grief Healing Blog

Grief Recovery Method

What's Your Grief

Sending all my thoughts and prayers.

 

[Fairley]

Dear Valerie Lockhart,

thank you for your kind words and encouragement. As a Christian, I find peace that both my mom and sister are with God and have gained their eternal reward but I haven’t been able to say thank you God that they’re gone or anything along those lines. Am I wrong? Am I causing them to not be able to be at peace because I’m not at peace? With both my mom and sister, it was just so tragic. I feel like I watched my mom slowly fade away for five almost six months before she passed. Then my sister killed in a car accident on her way to work? I’m struggling. I used to say I have good days and bad days but now I just have days. It’s like I’m standing on the outside looking into my own life and I can’t believe it