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My Brother's Cancer Battle

Lonely Heart

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Greetings to all at Grieving.com,

I am starting this thread to get as much emotional/spiritual support for me and my grieving family. We are all stressed out and we don't know what to do other than just pray to God so that He either cures my brother's cancer (rhabdomyosarcoma -- a rare cancer that is usually found in children) or He relieves him of his suffering once and for all, so that he goes in peace. As far as I know, he's not feeling any pain, but he has lost a lot of energy (and weight) due to the fact that he isn't able to eat right anymore. All we've ever been giving him to keep him alive are blood transfusions and injecting sodium chloride. However, neither of these are really proving any help as of writing this, as the cancer is starting to close up his body. I really don't know what to do or say anymore... I really don't.

Some other information:

- My brother is 37 years old, I am the youngest in the family (21) and the other brother (no sisters in the family) is 41.

- My mom died of a stomach-related cancer in 2009. My brother was diagnosed last November and had been going to cancer treatment centers until the doctors told him there is no other way they can stop the cancer.

- Just a month ago my brother had announced to the whole family that his cancer had spread (originally the tumor started around the cheekbone/eyeball section and then quickly spread (Stage IV), regardless of all the chemo he'd been through).

- He is an honest, Bible-believing Christian and was always very loving to those who didn't believe (like me). His family and my oldest brother's family believes that when they die they will go to Heaven; and I support them all the way.

- He has two beautiful daughters -- neither even 10 yet -- and we are doing our best to keep them upbeat because they are suffering too.

I need some encouragement as to how we can move on with our lives if he does in fact succumb. Please help out. I don't want to lose another loved one (I have many, many memories of him), but it looks like it's probably about to happen. We just got him out of the local hospital and into a hospice. I don't know how long he will last. Please pray for me, my brother, and our family. We are in need of support.

Many Thanks,

- Lonely Heart

Lonely Heart,

When you said you are praying that God cures your brother or relieves him, I completely know where you are coming from. My father battled a painful illness, and when we realized there was not going to be a recovery except for a Godly miracle, we began to pray the same prayer. When my mother in law battled breast cancer, we also prayed that prayer because we loved the both of them deeply.

You will find support here; let your family know they are more than welcome to come and talk about this, including your brother if he is able. I cannot say enough kind things about Hospice. They were our lifeline. Read their literature, ask questions and ask for help.

It was recommended to our family that we talk openly with each other, share hope and fear and tell our loved "It is okay to let go and become pain free." It was hard, but when my Dad heard us tell him that, he was more at peace with what was happening. We reassured him we would be okay and so would he.

I hoped for a miracle until my father breathed his last breath. That's okay, too. I will keep your brother and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

You move on if he succumbs by doing what you are doing now--you continue to be a family. You talk about this. You cry together. You share together. You rage, you vent, and you cry more. You remember, and you eventually learn to smile and maybe even laugh over wonderful memories you all had together. It will be hard, but you are a family, and you can do this-- together.


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