Loss of my father September 17, 2011

[robinson85]

I lost my dad on September 17,2011 one week ago today. I have not lost anyone close to me before, I am having a difficult time dealing with it. I have no energy, desire nothing. I have a husband and son to care for but I just feel hopeless. I was my dad's caregiver, I did everything for him.... I know I did my best but it is still hard to let go and know that I will never see him again...... My husband does not get it. he thinks I am suppose to get over it , he says I am pushing my family away. I don't think I have much support from them right now....

[stillfighting431]

I'm so sorry for your loss.I lost my mom on 24.7.2011,it's 2 months to this day.I know how you feel,like you are the only person who remembers him or misses him,but the rest of the world has just forgotten he ever existed & can't understand why you can't do the same.I come across so many people everyday who expect me to brush my pain aside & move on.They feign surprise & look irritated to know you're still grieving your loss.

To them your parent was just some sick,frail,old person who's time was up,but to you he was your best friend,teacher & guide.They can't fanthom the depth of your pain or why you feel so lost & empty without him.

My sister & were our mom's caregivers too,though I used to spend most of my time doing house work ,my sister was incharge of her meds,diet physiotherapy & everything else.She's even more devasted by her death than me.

Don't let anybody make you feel guilty for grieving for your loss.Everybody who loses a loved one especially close to them goes through what you're feeling right now.

Try talking in person to someone who has gone through the same,a sibling maybe.Take your time to cry for him & miss him.I still cry for my mom everday although it's been 2 months now & I still miss her like crazy.

Keep writing in,there are wonderful supportive people here who feel your pain & will make you feel better.

[ModKonnie]

I lost my dad on September 17,2011 one week ago today. I have not lost anyone close to me before, I am having a difficult time dealing with it. I have no energy, desire nothing. I have a husband and son to care for but I just feel hopeless. I was my dad's caregiver, I did everything for him.... I know I did my best but it is still hard to let go and know that I will never see him again...... My husband does not get it. he thinks I am suppose to get over it , he says I am pushing my family away. I don't think I have much support from them right now....

I am sorry about the loss of your father. On week is barely time for it all to sink it. Do you have others to talk to? What about your in laws? Perhaps they would be a good source of support, and they may be able to help your husband see how unsupportive he seems to be. Have you told him how you feel?

How old is your son? If he is old enough to understand, tell him you are very sad that your daddy is gone, and that he will have to be patient and kind becuase your heart is sad. Reassure him that you love him (your son) very much.

Of course you feel like doing nothing with no energy. That is normal given what you have just experienced. You will feel exhausted for awhile. Try to get some type of nutrition, even if you have to drink those nutritional supplements, like Ensure. Drink water, too, because a lack of water makes you feel tired and unable to think clearly.

You may even want to consider a session with a counselor or your doctor to discuss how you feel.

In the meantime, we will be here to support you.

ModKonnie

[Julia]

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's so very hard in the beginning, it feels as though your entire world has come crashing down around you.

Please know that although the pain doesn't go away, it does get less "raw" and more manageable as time goes on. (Well I can only speak for myself, but I do think that's the general consensus.) It's been 5 months for me now since I lost my dad. I miss him terribly every day, I won't lie. But that initial feeling of being hit by a semi truck does subside, I promise you. You're not alone in your overwhelming grief, we all understand how you feel! I've only just recently joined the forum but already I've found that posting and reading other people's thoughts is so helpful.

Hang in there and try not to worry too much about what you should be doing for other people. You have to allow yourself to process all these emotions or they turn against you. I know this from my own experience.

Sending you love,

Julia