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My Son Remembering his Poppy


SadRN

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So, I've been doing a little better lately (probably due to the low dose Lexapro- not so much uncontrolled crying). My son's birthday party was last weekend and my dad's absence at it was palpable to me. And I didn't even think my son was thinking about it because he had a blast. Then in the bathtub that night he started asking questions- how did Poppy die. Was he alone? Were you there? Where was his body? And then he told me he missed him so much and looked at me for tears. And then he said he couldn't wait to see him again in heaven. And I just lost it. My husband came in and finished his bath because I went to the other room and just cried and cried. My dad would have loved to have been at his 7th birthday pool party. He would love to see him riding his bike like a pro. My son was my father's only grandchild and he adored him. It's been about 5 months now and I still think of him all the time. People stop asking how you are and if you are hanging in there after a couple of months. But now seems like the hard part to me. Carrying on with life when you no longer have a part of your life with you...

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I know exactly how you feel. It's been exactly 5 months since I lost my dad, and now seems like the hardest part for me, too. People around you move on, and suddenly you're left alone with your grief. I wasn't prepared for this second wave of missing my dad, it's like the pain receded and then came back again full force. Maybe even worse now that it's really settling in that he's gone for good (at least in a physical sense).

I'm sorry, it must be hard to help your son through losing his grandpa when you're feeling such loss yourself. I have a hard time keeping it together without kids, I'm sure it's tough :(

Hang in there,

Julia

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