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Much To My Dismay


BrilliantPennywyze42

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BrilliantPennywyze42

 

Over the last 2 years, I've (repeatedly) said, "On the day Jeremy died, it felt like my brain was ejected out of my head, and the goofy thing won't get up. It needs to quit being a baby.  Get up off the ground. Find its way back into my head". I have seriously been wondering if the idea that "my brain jumped out of my head", could even be remotely near possible. I've used these comments I make, about the way I feel, as healing mechanisms. I made jokes (and still do) about how "silly" or "goofy" or "crazy" I feel because I seriously had no clue what was (or could still be) wrong with me. It makes awkward moments easier for me to deal with. It wasn't very long after I found myself living on the streets, that I began to wonder what it is I can do in order to "test my intelligence level".  Approximately a week ago, it hit me, "I can take an IQ test to see if my brain really did jump out of my head or what". 
 
Let me tell y'all this: in 2014, I got on 2 different websites and got an Intelligence Quotient (IQ) test done. The result on the first? 113. The result on the second? 115. Next thing I needed to know was what the 113-115 score meant? How smart was I? An IQ of 113-155 is just above average. This is why a few of people at home have heard me say (jokingly), "I'm smarter than the average bear", when I've said or done something that makes me feel extra intelligent. 
 
Yesterday, I took an IQ test. This morning, I got the result. 79 Y'ALL! THAT'S IT! This PROVES that yes, something DID happen to my intelligence factors when my husband died. Yes, a person can (be and) love so much that when they lose their partner, their intellect CAN BE affected by the emotional toll that kind of news takes on another individual. So, let's not be hasty and dismiss your friend when they're grieving, and feel like part of what makes them who they are, is missing. They're NOT crazy. They have been delivered the most gut wrenchingly horrible news this side of the Ohio River Valley, and something is (currently and) essentially wrong with them.
 

By the way, guys and dolls, that is a 34 point drop in my intelligence factor. Chew on that...lol

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