Jump to content

Very recent, so confused.


mausti

Recommended Posts

  • Members

I am 26, married with a 3 almost 4 year old daughter. my dad, my best friend, died suddenly and unexpectedly of an aortic aneyurism in the early morning hours of 8/14/11. He had just gone home to Texas for the weekend after visiting us at my parents former home in ALabama. My mother found him when she woke around 6am and realized he never came back to bed after he got up complaining of knee pain. He was already gone at that time. The last time i spoke with him was the day before, we talked everyday. I was a HUGE daddy's girl compared to my older sister. He and I were just alike, he used to tell me it was just he and I against the world. Its so strange ,he was cremated in Texas, and sent to Alabama fora memorial. Its like he just vanished no goodbyes no notes, no acceptance of what as coming. We all had plans to take my daughter to disney world for her birthday in Oct. Its so hard to keep telling my daughter why she cant call him, or why he isnt coming to pick her up. Whats even harder is to have everyone tell me how "your daughter has lost her best friend and she doesnt even know it" I know this i watched them they were 2 peas in pod. Im coping decent because Ihave no other choice right now. Its my mother, Ive decided to come to texas to stay with her for a week or so to help her adjust being in the home where she found him. But im SO WORRIED for her. what happens when I have to go home 8 hours away?! All she keeps saying is, "why did he have to be alone? why didnt i wake up sooner? what if he called for me? why didnt the dog come get me?" many things along those lines. I talk to my dad everynight, just to get things off my chest like we used to do. I know one day i wil have to stop but im just not ready yet. Iknow I have to be strong for my mom and my daughter but its hard when i truy dont know what to say or do...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

I am 26, married with a 3 almost 4 year old daughter. my dad, my best friend, died suddenly and unexpectedly of an aortic aneyurism in the early morning hours of 8/14/11. He had just gone home to Texas for the weekend after visiting us at my parents former home in ALabama. My mother found him when she woke around 6am and realized he never came back to bed after he got up complaining of knee pain. He was already gone at that time. The last time i spoke with him was the day before, we talked everyday. I was a HUGE daddy's girl compared to my older sister. He and I were just alike, he used to tell me it was just he and I against the world. Its so strange ,he was cremated in Texas, and sent to Alabama fora memorial. Its like he just vanished no goodbyes no notes, no acceptance of what as coming. We all had plans to take my daughter to disney world for her birthday in Oct. Its so hard to keep telling my daughter why she cant call him, or why he isnt coming to pick her up. Whats even harder is to have everyone tell me how "your daughter has lost her best friend and she doesnt even know it" I know this i watched them they were 2 peas in pod. Im coping decent because Ihave no other choice right now. Its my mother, Ive decided to come to texas to stay with her for a week or so to help her adjust being in the home where she found him. But im SO WORRIED for her. what happens when I have to go home 8 hours away?! All she keeps saying is, "why did he have to be alone? why didnt i wake up sooner? what if he called for me? why didnt the dog come get me?" many things along those lines. I talk to my dad everynight, just to get things off my chest like we used to do. I know one day i wil have to stop but im just not ready yet. Iknow I have to be strong for my mom and my daughter but its hard when i truy dont know what to say or do...

Hi Mausti,

I am very sorry about the loss of your dad. I am sure he was well loved by you all. It sounds as though your mother is processing through her grief just as you are. She feels guilty because she felt like she let your father down. Even had she been standing right by him, there is nothing she could have done. She will hopefully work through the guilt and all the other emotions and move forward in time. It is going to be hard for all of you, but you can do it. I would simply keep reassurring your mother that she did everything right and no one is blaming her.

Your loss was so sudden and shocking that I am sure you are still reeling from it all. For now, simply try to take things one day at a time, little by little. Make sure that you and your mother are getting rest and proper nutrition. Perhaps you can talk to each other about your feelings, and talk to other family members.

Does your mother have a support system? What about a church group? We will be here for you, and we would certainly welcome your mother to our warm and caring community.

ModKonnie

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

My mom had recently joined a church near where they moved to. A few people in her sunday school class have been calling to check on her, the womens ministry leader went through almost the exact same situation 2 years ago so she has been checking on my mother everyday. I just hate she hasnt really had time to make a real friend base here like she has back in Alabama. She is also looking into joining a grief support group at her church. I can not imagine how she truly feels, they were married for 31 years, my dad was 53, an my parents were the same age and started dating at 15 years old. My dad passed 2 days before their 31st wedding anniversary. My husband and I are now looking to move in the same area, so my mother, my 91 year old grandmother, and 67 year old aunt with downs syndrome are not left alone out here. Thanks for your kind words. Just "never think it will happen to you" kind of thing I guess. Or atleast I always felt they would grow old together and there would be time to say goodbye.

post-297255-0-69871000-1314632503_thumb.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

This site uses cookies We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue. and uses these terms of services Terms of Use.