My brother death was strange and considered murder.

[hisbeauty4ashes]

Hi I am new to this site.

I just lost a friend to suicide on August 14,2011 and posted it on suicide forum.

I am on here because of multiple tragic deaths. I lost my older brother on May 6,2005. He died in a very strange way. Basically He was murdered and the murder was never found or held responsible, and I am sure who ever it was is not living a guilt free life.

When my brother died I did not think I could go on. I felt as if half of me died with him. I am always left wondering what happened early that morning of May 6. 2005. Every time my brothers Birthday rolls around I think of him, every time the date of his death rolls around I think of him. I mean things trigger him all the time like music someone who reminds me of him or even a smell. I think to myself will I ever get pass this. I am doing better as far as emotionally but then I still struggle.

Is it just hard because I never knew what happened to him and that it was an open case? always left wondering.

Thanks for listening.

[Caffuss]

Hi my brothers death was strange to...not considered murder ..but an accedent. I belive it could have been suicide. He died on his Birthday his 30th.....he was very depressed ...he talked about dieing and then at his party he was running and jumping into a kids pool. He was very over wieght and drunk...the corner siad he had a hiar line fractor in his neck....and so he was floating in the kids pool. Me and my other brother saw him..but thought he was joking, long enough for him to pass.. we were also drunk and.it takes only a few minites. I struggled with his death...so painful for me as I tried to save his life...but I was to late. I have felt half of me died as well. I was very close to him..he was 2 years younger than me. His brithday was August 25th 1971...he passed August 25, 2001.

[ModKonnie]

Hi my brothers death was strange to...not considered murder ..but an accedent. I belive it could have been suicide. He died on his Birthday his 30th.....he was very depressed ...he talked about dieing and then at his party he was running and jumping into a kids pool. He was very over wieght and drunk...the corner siad he had a hiar line fractor in his neck....and so he was floating in the kids pool. Me and my other brother saw him..but thought he was joking, long enough for him to pass.. we were also drunk and.it takes only a few minites. I struggled with his death...so painful for me as I tried to save his life...but I was to late. I have felt half of me died as well. I was very close to him..he was 2 years younger than me. His brithday was August 25th 1971...he passed August 25, 2001.

Caffuss,

I am so sorry. Accidents are awful and suicide is harder to understand. While you may wonder if he committed suicide, do you think he knew that jumping into that pool would kill him?

I know you struggle with this, but you had no idea this would happen. No one did. I can completely see how you thought he was joking. I would have thought the same thing had one of my siblings done this. Please try to do your best to let this go and move forward. This was completely not your fault. Even had you got him out of the pool, there is no guarantee that he would have lived through the experience.

ModKonnie

[Caffuss]

We did get him out we just waited to long....no my brother could not have known he would die, but he could have thought he probably would. As he was running and forcfully jumping into it. Of course it was not up to any of us, we dont have that kind of control. he was able to donate his organs, his heart, his liver and his kidneys. Any way..I know I have to get over how he died...but I was very close to him, I was there, I saw him before the last time he jumped in, running to jump into it while I taked to my other brother. I saw him right after he jumped in floating and thinking he was joking waited just long enough....when we pulled him out I gave him mouth to mouth until the ambulance got there. They told us three days later he had a hiar line fractor in his neck and he was brain dead. It is an extremly difficult experiance to get over and if I were to say I'm over it...I would be lieing at this piont. I belive it was Billys time to go and that is why he is with God...and for no other reason. I also belive Billy is finially happy. This helps me heal.

Thank you

Hi my brothers death was strange to...not considered murder ..but an accedent. I belive it could have been suicide. He died on his Birthday his 30th.....he was very depressed ...he talked about dieing and then at his party he was running and jumping into a kids pool. He was very over wieght and drunk...the corner siad he had a hiar line fractor in his neck....and so he was floating in the kids pool. Me and my other brother saw him..but thought he was joking, long enough for him to pass.. we were also drunk and.it takes only a few minites. I struggled with his death...so painful for me as I tried to save his life...but I was to late. I have felt half of me died as well. I was very close to him..he was 2 years younger than me. His brithday was August 25th 1971...he passed August 25, 2001.

[ModKonnie]

We did get him out we just waited to long....no my brother could not have known he would die, but he could have thought he probably would. As he was running and forcfully jumping into it. Of course it was not up to any of us, we dont have that kind of control. he was able to donate his organs, his heart, his liver and his kidneys. Any way..I know I have to get over how he died...but I was very close to him, I was there, I saw him before the last time he jumped in, running to jump into it while I taked to my other brother. I saw him right after he jumped in floating and thinking he was joking waited just long enough....when we pulled him out I gave him mouth to mouth until the ambulance got there. They told us three days later he had a hiar line fractor in his neck and he was brain dead. It is an extremly difficult experiance to get over and if I were to say I'm over it...I would be lieing at this piont. I belive it was Billys time to go and that is why he is with God...and for no other reason. I also belive Billy is finially happy. This helps me heal.

Thank you

Hi Caffuss,

Your brother was a handsome young man. Was he a body builder? I know you will never forget the trauma of the horrid experience, but can you try to start replacing that image that you constantly focus on with happier moments? Can you try to remember the positive about him and celebrate the life he did have? You had 30 years with him. I am sure you have many many happy times. Would you feel like sharing them?

I also believe that people pass when they are supposed to. I don't know why or how that all works, but I believe that everything is in God's hands. It helps me to find comfort with the things I have no control over--including death--just by knowing that a Greater Power than me is in charge.

ModKonnie