Six years later....

[ComfortingFriend]

A warm message, to this wonderful community. 
 

Over six years ago, I had lost my father. The posts are still here, I believe....

He and my mom were my whole world. I am the only adult child. We had shared so much together, throughout my whole life. 

Our lives were turned upside down, first when he suffered the massive stroke without warning In 2008-–and then again, when he finally passed away in 2014, after six very long years of heartache and struggle. I continue to be proud caregiver for my Mom. 

I just wanted to share that things now (the whole general upheaval of 2020 notwithstanding) are in a somewhat better place, than they had been for such a long time. The grieving is still there—and it will forever be, to some extent. But at this point in time, I am able to recall many fond memories with joy and comfort, within my soul. Quite often, my mother and I even laugh about some of the things that he had said, and comical things that he had done, without lapsing back into tears. 
 

There are two things that remain the most painful for me, personally, throughout the entire grieving process. 
The first was the sense of total abandonment I felt after my Dad died, by people who I believed were my closest friends. 
This feeling lasted for at least three years.....Yes, I understand that some people simply don’t know what to say, or how to act —but to totally turn away from you forever after the person passes away, I still do no get....The second thing was my very unfortunate experience of having someone actually take advantage of my grief and vulnerability shortly after the loss—in order to gaslight me, and distort my sense of reality, simply for him to glorify his own self worth.  Obviously, that took a while to get over, but I did survive—through my personal faith, and through others in my life that I knew that I could trust, and whom I knew had my best interest at heart.  If nothing else, this has all made me just a little bit wiser.
 

There were a handful of truly genuine people on this forum who had given me comfort at the time of my Dad’s death, and please know that I am forever grateful. A couple of these became friends, which is always a welcome outcome of the sad circumstances in which we find ourselves. 
 

Likewise, I am always pleased to offer kindness and a listening ear, to someone in grief or distress.

God bless everyone here.